why vacuuming should always be beautiful.

I've had this post mulling in my head for weeks. It was one of those where the words would play out beautifully in my head, and then every time I would sit down to write the words would come out as a jumbled mess. Then Friday happened, that absolute horror in Connecticut, and I found myself in Target with tears rolling down my face grasping to understand evil and crying for the parents and families whose lives were robbed of normal. So now, I finally write. And those words? About life - and normal. ~rachel

I was grumbling.

Not your normal grumble, but rather that under the breath discontent grumble that can be easy to adopt when one isn't careful. My older boys' room looked like it had never been cleaned before. I am completely not joking sadly serious. Toys mixed together with papers with peels of a clementine that should never have been there with pens and markers and clothes and dirty socks and books and anything else you could imagine. It was all there - percolating into this gigantic mess that took me four hours to straighten and deal with. Leftovers from weeks where the cleaning was just on the surface leaving behind residue and the obvious example that looking at stuff on the surface doesn't really solve the issue.

Grumble, grumble, grumble.

The boys would come in and offer to help and I would just grumble back at them. I don't need your help or if you had just been a steward of your room this crazy chaos wouldn't have happened or I'll just do it myself. Martyr mom. That was me. Complaining, not accepting help, and just grumbling my way through normal.

I pulled out the vacuum determined to at least get the floor clean even though I had a massive pile of things to sort through. I flipped it on, the soft hum filled the room, and I looked up to see Caleb sitting there, on his bed, stacking books and pulling legos out of the pile and tossing them in the large bin. He looked at me, the grumbling mom, and simply smiled. A sincere I love you even when you complain about this messy room smile.

As I held the vacuum, still running, my eyes welled up with tears. When did I lose the beauty in this normal, even though the normal like today was frustrating? When did the gift of having children in my home get lost and I instead just wanted every little thing perfect and tight and without mess?

Childhood is messy. My goodness, life is messy.

We don't know our days. This is even more pressed on me as I look at pictures of little children who are no older than my own kids whose lives were unfairly lost last week. Those parents would give anything for a room cluttered with a pile of stuff and an eager little one there to help sort through the pieces and here I was grumbling. Perspective, perspective, perspective.

It's so easy to lose.

Sadly, it's often when we lose the things that matter that we regain the perspective of just how much those things, those people, matter to us. It baffles my mind how quickly I lose sight of the joy in the gifts in life that are smack in front of my face. But, how to keep it? Keep vacuuming beautiful. Choose something, a daily task - laundry, dishes, folding clothes, picking up - and make it a benchmark, a reminder, for you to remember the preciousness of the life that you have in front of your face. And make it something that is the most unglamorous. I've found that when you lose normal you miss those things the most and long for the days when you can simply vacuum a room with your seven year old sitting on the bed cleaning beside you.

Life is good. Life is a gift. Life is precious.

Don't let the mundane moments in life rob you from the beauty of normal that surrounds you. Remind yourself to look for the beauty, the gems that are tucked within the fabric of the everyday normal. Force yourself to wake up, to see, the remember, and to be thankful for the blessings that fill your life.

Don't lose sight of the good.

Vacuuming is beautiful. It's a representation of normal, and normal, my dear friends, is an absolute gift. Celebrate normal. Celebrate those vacuuming the kids floor who made a huge mess but are sitting in your home playing moments of life.

Keep perspective. Savor today. Love the little things.

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click dear mom letters to read more encouraging letters for moms
Images and original content are sole property of Rachel Martin and may not be used, copied or transmitted without prior written consent.

week 93. instagram rich. #fridayfaves #findjoy

some of my favorite things

{thanks to instagram find me there finding_joy}

write yours - link up
be grateful for the little things in life

#find joy #fridayfaves

the tree
before it fell
all decked out in lights
that were perfectly organized
and now since it falling is not quite so perfect.
But, oh well, it inspired this post
Dear Mom who Likes Everything Perfect
{and needs grace}

little boy
wandering in the snow
who wanted to play outside so so so bad
and then only lasted about 15 minutes
even though it took 15 minutes to get ready
and another 5 to get all the snow gear off.

eleven year olds
buried in the snow
still fascinated by the flakes falling down
and simply
wanting to embrace the time
together outside
playing.

glitter
that I allowed out
with only moderate supervision
{until Samuel tried to shake it everywhere}
as we made snowmen inside as well.
Elijah named his
Frosty

needed supplies
that I left the house for on the day
we got 15 inches of snow
Because, after all, hot cocoa, marshmallows, whipped cream
and some gluten free gingerbread cookies
are always needed.

needed reading
I am so excited to read this book
by CC Chapman
called
Amazing Things Will Happen.
And, yes, I will write about it here.

dazeofadventure
also known as my dear friend Jenn
who blogs at dazeofadventure
who I'm helping to plan the Beech Retreat with in January
{and oh my is it work - blessed work - but work}
this was taken on the way to Captiva Island, Florida
where it was warm
and without that 15 inches of snow.

black boots
they might just be my favorite item to wear
and I might just have several different pairs
and some other pairs of boots.
Oh all right, I have many many pairs.
Not just black.
Grin.

the calm before the storm
or also known as a picturesque street by my home
we really prep here for the snow
and it takes a great deal to shut us down
fifteen inches of snow and schools were delayed two hours.
I made sure to delay ours as well.

the yard 
after the snow
that looks played in
{look at my untouched snow of my neighbors}
by my kids
and that's exactly how I would want it.

the boy and me
my sweet sweet sweet Elijah
with his hood up high
taking a picture with me
I just love him
and all of his antics
and how he reminds me to find joy.

some simple words
gratitude for the everyday
using lovely instagram moments from the week
for Friday Favorite Things today
What are your favorite things?
This is week 93.
Add yours. Link below. Find joy.
#fridayfaves #findjoy

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"I not eat gluten." life lessons from a child with celiac disease

It was about three in the afternoon and Samuel was sitting on my lap. We were reading - the Richard Scarry book Things that Go. Page after page we read, searching for the elusive goldbug in the process, laughing at the silly antics of the Pig family. And then, we get to the page where the Pig family visits the farm.

At Grandma Pig's farm, all the farmhands are very busy. They are picking corn, gathering hay, and delivering milk. They are harvesting wheat to be made into bread.

I pause. Just for a moment, glance at Samuel, and then keep reading.

Grandpa is cutting the grass and Grandma is clanking...

That's gluten, Momma.

It was Samuel pointing at the picture of the red grain harvester harvesting wheat.

That's gluten. Yucky. Gluten hurts my tummy.

And sigh. Like a knife in my mother's heart he utters the words that two years ago I never would have thought twice about. I could have avoided reading those lines about harvesting wheat to make bread or I could have changed them that it was going to be gluten free bread. But, I knew I couldn't. I knew that I needed to read it word for word because despite how easy I make Samuel's life there is no hiding that he is forced to live gluten free in a very gluten full world. And that? That stings. Deep.

Especially now. Now, during Christmastime with the abundance of pastries, cookies, pies, and treats. And I know that most of them Samuel can never ever not even a tiny bit of cheating ever have to eat. And, honestly, my friends? I hate that reality for him. I know, I know, it could be worse. But, it's still not a fair reality for him. No matter what. This world? It's not perfect.

Yes, Samuel, that's gluten. 

Me gluten free. Read momma.

And that's it. For me it's a pondering moment about life, and for him it's just an acknowledgement of the fact that there is gluten on the page and that he can't have it. I know I've said it before, but the boy teaches me so much about contentment in life. Again - he focuses on everything he can have and refuses to dwell on what he cannot.

For me to learn from him. For such a time as this.

So we sat there and read. Me with tears brimming my eyes - tears of gratitude for his health and still tears of sadness for all I know he can never have - and him, content to sit in my lap on a Wednesday afternoon and to read.

Celiac Disease is hard. Plain and simple it's hard. I look at labels constantly. I call companies. I watch and watch and watch. But, he is healthy. He is thriving. And he is content.

I am constantly learning from him. He goes to bed at night grateful for all he can have and never complains to me about the many things he cannot eat. He's grateful for the good.

I not eat gluten, Momma.

And he is content.

And I am humbled. Again.

To read a bit more of Samuel's story read this post: One Year: The Celiac Disease Fight.

****

As many of you know I am very honored to be a voice for Celiac Disease and gluten free living. For the last seven months I've worked as a community leader for Udi's Gluten Free and their online community. I've chosen to continue working with them for the next three months - and honestly friends, it is such a gift for me to be able to offer words from our gluten free story on their platform. It gives me space to be a voice - and I do not ever take that for granted. I never imagined two years ago when Samuel was so terribly ill that two years later I would be a voice of hope and encouragement for Celiac Disease. I am humbled. And blessed.

You can find me there --> Udi's Gluten Free Community.
Today I'm asking about the biggest challenge in raising a child with Celiac Disease.

click dear mom letters to read more encouraging letters for moms
Images and original content are sole property of Rachel Martin and may not be used, copied or transmitted without prior written consent.

dear mom who likes everything perfect {and needs grace}

I am with you.

I'm the gal who sorts markers, pencils, crayons, scissors and all into separate labeled boxes. I like the books in order and the dvds by category and clothes hung in colored sequence. I like the day to go by clockwork, with check marks, goals completed and not many bumps in the road. I don't care for messes, and have a hard time getting things done when there's clutter. A perfectionist, right? And, yet, as I've written so many times I'm the perfectionist who tries so hard to not be the perfectionist.

Life is messy.

Real life doesn't really care if I have the craft supplies sorted or that the island is clean or that the clothes are folded and put away perfect. Real life is like my Christmas tree, that the kids, including one who wore his shirt backwards, so carefully decorated the bottom and me fussing over the top, falling over within one hour of us being done. Ornaments, water, lights and all in a tangled mess was the result. And, I was late. I had a dinner to go to, was straightening my hair, and all of a sudden I was faced with a curveball in the routine. The curveball was a seven and a half foot tree, heavy with ornaments, resting on my area rug in the living room with piles of Hungarian gold glass bulbs crushed underneath.

Laugh or cry.

I chose to laugh. There really was nothing I could do, the perfectionist who tries to not be such a perfectionist, at the moment. My family was watching - waiting to see my response - and they mattered more than the bulbs scattered everywhere. Then I saw Grace's first year Christmas 2001 ornament snapped in two. As I picked it up, my oldest daughters, who both stepped in to help me clean, looked at me and said it's just a thing, mom. Just a thing. My perfectionist heart had to let it go. It was a thing and they mattered more. They watched me as I looked at them and told them, yes, it's just a thing, you're right.

And so to you, the mom who might like everything perfect or who is living in a life where nothing seems to make sense I'm telling you that you are not alone. Despite the Hallmark movies dotting the television programming and the perfect Target toy ads and the Currier and Ives decorations at the store life is honestly just a bit messy. And, honestly, some of the hardest years of my life have been tucked in the midst of Christmas - I don't know if it is the ideal that is placed out there and then when things go awry it's even more painful and difficult. And for one who likes stuff perfect, that makes it even harder.

But sweet dear mom - you can do this in the midst. Do you know why I love everything so perfect? It's about me trying to control the circumstances of life. But, sometimes, and what I'm learning through life, and perfectly illustrated with my tree falling, is that there are things that we can't control - health, finances, relationships, trees falling, kids not fussing, snow days on days when you need to go out - and in those moments we just have to let it go and to choose to live embracing relationships and letting go of things. Even when things are messy there can still be beauty - my tree is standing this morning, with ornaments that I need to rearrange and lights that need fixing - but it's standing.

Dear mom, whose life might not be perfect, life is still good. You and me and all the others moms out there who love to keep stuff just a certain way have a challenge today. And that challenge? To embrace today and to not let perfectionist ideals define our happiness. You can still be joyful, creative, encouraging, content, motivated, loving, caring, hopeful, happy, determined, and full of life even when life isn't perfect.

Look at your kids. They want you. They want you to be there in the trenches laughing with them and ignoring the crayons and markers that are mixed in a pile on the table and instead looking at them and giving them a real, joyful smile. That matters. Most.

Motherhood is an amazing journey of learning to let go, to embrace, and to live with a heart that is content in the middle of crazy.

What you are doing right now, today, matters. Do not let the world ever drive the importance of that from you. If you take one thing from this letter, let it be this - you matter, you matter, you matter - and being a mother is an amazing gift - and your children need you. Not the perfect mom, but you. That is grace. Needed grace in the midst of motherhood.

Now go. Live today. Expect it won't be perfect, but still embrace the beauty in today. You matter.

From me, the perfectionist letting go mom, to you.

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click dear mom letters to read more encouraging letters for moms
Images and original content are sole property of Rachel Martin and may not be used, copied or transmitted without prior written consent.

6 {real life} Gifts for Children

There are lists everywhere right now about top gifts for kids - they're full of ideas, presents, and hot and must purchase items. This weekend I pondered what kids really need and once again, while the gifts are fabulous and they bring a level of childhood joy, there are other, more simple real life gifts, that kids also need during the holidays. I was reminded of the need to step back, slow down, and to look at life through the eyes of my children - and how often the simple things are the most needed. ~rachel

Here are six gifts for children that we can bless them with in the midst of the busy.

1. Wonder. Sometimes I wish I could regain that wonder of childhood. It's that ability to see the world for what it is without attaching labels, stipulations, and rules onto what one sees. Kids need to be able to wonder about life. They need those moments of staring at lights twinkling in the background and to sit in wonder. Bless them with sweet moments in their days for wonder without us pushing to the next thing, explaining everything to them, and pulling away from the magic found in this time of year. And us adults? We can learn from them - they teach us to sit back and find contentment in the most simple moments.

2. Time. Kids need you. Of course the parties, events, shopping and all of that is fun, but bottom line, they need you to be present and sharing of moments with them. Slow down, slow down, slow down and establish times in the midst of your busy where they are the most important. Don't race through December and miss out on sitting with your children as they rest in wonder. Embrace them. Slow down. Look at the wonder in the world around you. Be content in the not busy times.

3. Tradition. Create traditions for your family. If you don't have any, don't fret, just start today - life isn't about having everything perfect, but is rather about constantly making progress and moving. Traditions create time and moments and ultimately wonder for your children. We have very simply traditions in our home - a count down chain made with construction paper, cutting and saving the tree trunk, baking cookies - now gluten free, exchanging names, and more. Look at what your kids love and work to create beautiful traditions tucked within the busy.

4. Space. Give them space. This is different than you giving them of your time. This is about giving them space within the busy to have those moments of wonder. I've noticed that the more busy our family becomes the more stressed out the kids become - even if the events are wonderful and exciting. Schedule space for your children in this time. Let them create, color, draw, and dream. Don't worry about the mess, but rather encourage them to be still and in the moment.

5. Freedom to give. One of the most beautiful things about children, and that I have observed with my own children, is the unselfish desire to give and create for others. They'll make some craft or go through their room or find change sitting around that they want to give and I tell them maybe not that or let's find something different or let's pull out the craft book and make something specific. Let them give what they create. Maybe the craft isn't perfect, but it's made from their heart. It's like letting them decorate the tree - let them decorate it and don't fix it - there is heart and goodness in what they do. Give them the freedom to give without the perfectionist stipulations that often we place on what they do. Some of my favorite gifts are gifts that they made all on their own without me pressing on my agenda.

6. You. Finally, bless your children with you. One of the best things that I do, and need to remember to do more often, is when I write my schedule with blocks of time for each of my children. Those times are not about what I think we should be doing, but rather these times are set aside for my children to share with me what they want to do and then we'll spend time together doing that. Cooking together, cutting snowflakes, reading - little things that are on their hearts. Best part? You will get a glimpse into their heart and what they value and what is important. Just slow down, listen, and truly work to be present and not only will you bless them, but you will also find yourself greatly blessed.

These are six little real life gifts that can truly bless our families in the midst of the busiest month of the year. Slow down, laugh, enjoy the moments, and look for joy. 

What are some gifts that you can bless your children with?

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Images and original content are sole property of Rachel Martin and may not be used, copied or transmitted without prior written consent.