99 Tips for New Moms

little tips, little things, reminders, simple moments to remember.
make sure to read why being a mom is enough

1. Breathe. You're doing a good job.
2. Don't be afraid to ask for help
3. Date your pictures - especially that first year.
4. Write down what they say.
5. Voice record what they say if you don't have paper handy.
6. Take pictures of their hand in yours.
7. Dance with them.
8. Read the same book over and over and over.
9. Write a note in the beginning of special books.
10. Write the date and a note in the front of the first book that they read.
11. Let them pick out their clothes.
12. Don't care too much if their clothes don't match.
13. Let them run in the rain.

14. Let them splash in puddles.
15. Get them an umbrella.
16. Rock them to sleep.
17. You can never hold a newborn too much.
18. It is okay to randomly cry over life.
19. It is okay to cry over spilled milk.
20. Try to remember that it is just spilled milk.
21. Laugh and smile - your children need to see this.
22. Let them help you clean.
23. Let them help you cook.
24. Teach them to be grateful.
25. Teach them about music.
26. Teach them to appreciate nature.



27. Develop a bedtime routine.
28. Take naps when they nap.
29. Remember often less is more
30. Don't compare. At least try not to.
31. You'll worry, especially in the beginning, that's normal.
32. Keep your thermometer in the same spot.
33. Have an extra thermometer (or two).
34. Take pictures of little things.
35. Date their artwork.
36. Save at least a couple things for them from when they were little.
37. Take pictures of their artwork and save the pictures.

38. Save the first time they write their name.
39. Hold hands when you go for walks.
40. Remember to go for walks and play with them at the park.
41. Look them in the eye when you talk to them.
42. Talk to that little baby from the beginning.
43. Live a life embracing the little things.
44. Know that they will get sick at some point. That's normal.
45. Have a good friend you can call when they do get sick.
46. Find that thermometer or the extra one that you bought just in case.
47. Trust your instincts - mothers are blessed with them.
48. Get in the picture with your little ones.
49. Learn from Pinterest, blogs, fb, but do what is best for your family - they are beautifully unique.

50. Teach them about your beliefs, your faith.
51. Eat dinner around the table as often as you can.
52. Grocery shop on the least busy days.
53. There will always be something to debate in the motherhood journey.
54. Your decisions - diapering, vaccines, school, etc - are yours and you don't need to defend them.
55. Be involved in their lives.
56. Guard your family time.
57. Try to say I love you every day.
58. Let them fail as that teaches them to try.
59. Teach them to stand back up again and keep going.
60. Speak to them how you want them to speak to you.
61. Write them notes every once in a while.
62. Take pictures of their feet.

63. Let them see you reading.
64. Get to know their friends.
65. Get on the floor and play with them.
66. Take care of yourself as well.
67. Rest, get coffee, talk with friends and do things you love.
68. Make sure your car seat is strapped in properly.
69. Join groups and get involved.
70. Reach out to the new mom in the group.
71. Teach pleases and thank you's.
72. Model the positive.
73. Know that you will make mistakes.
74. Learn to say you're sorry, then move on and try again.
75. Teach the value of family.

76. Watch them sleep at night.
77. Pray over them while they are sleeping.
78. Take a picture of them sleeping.
79. Teach them about joy.
80. Establish traditions.
81. Rest in knowing that you are doing a good job.
82. Listen to them when they speak.
83. Write down some of their stories.
84. Save one favorite outfit of theirs to give to them.
85. Find balance in your life.
86. Know that you will often feel out of balance.

87. Try to savor the little things.
88. Don't be afraid to ask for advice.
89. Don't be afraid to ask for help.
90. Respect media, but don't feel guilt over using it.
91. Let go of mom guilt.
92. When you get behind just focus on doing one thing.
93. Speak well of your children.
94. Expect that they will meltdown in the store.
95. Understand that a meltdown does not define you as a mother.
96. Keep your own interests alive and cultivate them.
97. Record the really good days on your calendar.
98. Remember that this time will move in the blink of an eye.



99. And finally, remember that being a mother is a beautiful gift. And pajama days are totally acceptable some days. :)

Little things, simple tips, all celebrating the gift of motherhood.
What little tips would you add?

*****

Need encouragement? 21 of my Dear Mom Letters are now together - they are the letters about why you are not failing, why you matter, and what to do on those overwhelming motherhood days.

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Images and original content are sole property of Rachel Martin and may not be used, copied or transmitted without prior written consent.

space for simple moments

I spent the weekend cleaning, still catching up from the days spent in Children's Hospital, and wanting to find a bit of normal and organization. I moved from room to room to room sorting boxes of mismatched toys, folding socks, putting books on the shelf, and throwing away. By Sunday night I was exhausted and the screen on my computer stared at me blankly - almost taunting - with my word document empty and no post showing. I'll write in the morning, I kept telling myself, and then went to bed.

Then, in the middle of the night sweet cries of Is it Morning Momma? woke me at 2:45 to find Samuel sitting in those new blue spiderman pajamas on the floor in the hallway outside of his room. So I scooped him up, told him I love you's, sat in the room with him singing him songs, and staying there awake till sleep came back for him.

I'll just sleep a bit more, I told myself again.

And morning came, and I slept until Samuel woke up, and I immediately felt behind. My word document still sat open with no words shared. After the little kids got some breakfast and scampered upstairs, I sat on our old worn plaid couch and attempted writing. I had this entire post written in my head that I wrote at 4 am while resting on the floor in Samuel's room. But that post? Those words will have to wait.

Sit on you momma?

It was Samuel. I told him to sit next to me and snuggle into me so that I could finish writing and catching up on email.

No, momma. Sit on you.

And with a contented sigh, and a remember of my words Carry Me Momma? from last Monday I picked up that three year old and let him nestle in my arms. The words can wait. For a time like this, this freezing morning in Minnesota, the time was for me to not need to have everything perfect, but was rather to sit there with Samuel on my lap. And I did, with no rushing agenda, with no thoughts of 102 things that I need to do, but rather with Samuel there, sitting, telling me his stories.

There are times in life where I don't have the space to say yes so freely and no to my current to-do list. But, today, on this early Monday morning,  it was about putting family first and taking five minutes, because that is all it was, for Samuel to just be with me. He sat there, content to be, and there was no agenda.

It was filling his cup first.

So often it's easy to rush through the day and to fill and fix everything before filling our children's cups. We'll tell them in a minute or after lunch or as soon as I finish this or not right now or take a nap first or hold on and then we'll get to the end of the day and those minutes never really happened. Our kids still love us, they still want that time, but our urgents pushed the real importants to the side. And sometimes that needs to happen - life is just like that - but when that becomes a habit we miss the five minutes of sweetness found in holding a three year old in the morning, or sitting with a five year old as he tells a story, or listening to your twelve year old's list of dreams.

I know I've told it to you before - the putting your family on the list - thought, but today I'm going to gently encourage you to create white space in your day for those simple moments where family needs to come first. White space? It's just a schedule or a to-do list lined with grace - extra time buffers in there that allow for moments like my morning.

If all of life was linear the moments would be lost.

Joy moments are truly embedded within the day - whispers of I love you here, and a hug there, and the seconds of sun sparkling through the window creating a rainbow on the floor, and the books all lined up perfectly for just a second, and hugs on a couch where they just want to sit on your lap.

Create space for those moments in your life.

Instead of the in a seconds, today take a moment, pause, get on your knees (or tiptoe up) and look in their eyes and answer, yes, right now.

The moments are there.

Create space. Find joy.

What are ways you find space for those simple moments?

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Images and original content are sole property of Rachel Martin and may not be used, copied or transmitted without prior written consent.

carry me, momma? catching the sweet motherhood moments.

I was beyond tired. I had come home from the hospital to a home with sick children and a sick husband. My sweet family tried to straighten up for me - and did a lovely job - but they'd all been sick for the week and the to-do list with urgents was overflowing. By Sunday night I was so exhausted that I didn't need anyone telling me I looked tired because I simple knew it. I had cleaned, wandered way too long in Target trying to buy groceries but because I was so tired I was making loops going back for things I forgot, made dinner, and done some laundry. At that moment, all I really wanted to do was sit on my couch and do absolutely nothing.

Carry me upstairs.

It was my five year old, Elijah.

Carry me upstairs to bed, momma.

Not tonight, Elijah. I am too tired.

And I looked at his face, his little face that I missed terribly while I was in the hospital, and I saw the look of disappointment cross it.

Well, okay.

It was a mumble, a hush little mumble from the boy who just wanted me to carry him up the stairs. And then it hit me - so quickly that it surprised me - I simply don't know how much longer I will be able to carry him up the stairs and place him in his bed. Time keeps moving, even when I'm tired and worn - and he keeps growing.

So I picked him up, the little boy who is lighter because he was sick with influenza as well, and told him I loved him and carried him up our stairs to his room.

The days are short.

I almost missed that moment, that two minutes of me giving of myself and being mom, that sweet window in time, and opportunity, for me to carry him up those stairs to his bed with the blue blanket with cars and trucks on it that was faded from so many times in the laundry. Yes, I was tired, but I almost let that tiredness push the tender moment of motherhood by.

I know how tiring motherhood can be. I know about the bumps, the bends, the tough moments, the blips out of normal, the spills on the floor, the constant cries for mom, and the giving giving giving giving that you must do every single day. It's exhausting and often feels like you do the same thing day in and day out and day in and day out again. But, I'm whispering to you a reminder today - catch the opportunities, the memories, in the midst of the busy.

Carrying them up the stairs.
Reading a story.
Cutting their bread into triangles.
Writing a sweet note.
Rocking them to sleep.
Sitting next to them and hearing their dreams.

Those little gifts are nestled in the fabric of busy. And often, sweet mother, it means that you give just a bit more - like me being so tired and still getting up and picking up Elijah - for you to realize just how sweet a moment you were just blessed to have received.

I love you momma. I missed you.

Elijah brushed my hair from my face and looked me in the face and in his sweet blues were the tiniest hints of tears. Tears from a little boy who was trying to be brave, but knowing his little brother was in the hospital last week, and knowing that his momma was there with him. Tears from a boy that just, plain and simple, had missed his mom.

Oh, Elijah, I love you too. And I missed you mega.

(Mega is my word for telling my kids how much I love them.)

Thank you for carrying me up the stairs, momma.

An opportunity. Caught. One that was almost missed.

You brave and giving and loving and tired mother can find those sweet moments within your day as well - even in the busy. Today, today may you see those blessings of yours with eyes that are awake and celebrating the gift of normal. Stop the agenda, the to-do list, and take time for them.

They'll grow.

Those up the stair moments with the head on the shoulder will not last forever.

Catch them now.

***
Thank you for all the kind words and prayers for my Samuel. We were discharged from the hospital Saturday afternoon. He is one happy boy to be home. We've got a follow up visit with his doctor this week and a recheck of his ears as he has this one pesky ear infection. Again, thank you, and I am so humbled and grateful for all of your words. ~Rachel
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Images and original content are sole property of Rachel Martin and may not be used, copied or transmitted without prior written consent.

seven simple ways to simplify

Our family has been hit with influenza this week (explains the lack of posts) - including me the last two days. Nothing makes one simplify, step back, or let go more then the moments where one is forced into bed, with covers piled high, as a fever is battled. Still I fought resting - until several people told me the list can wait, the blog can wait, but I needed to rest. So I did. Fitfully. As I rested I thought about all the stuff downstairs that needed to be finished, and how I was behind, and that this really wasn't what I wanted to do. So I pondered some simple ways to simplify - mindset ways, actually. I hope they bless you. ~rachel

1. Expect that it will take time. I'm the gal that wants everything perfect before I start. Life is a journey, and in the journey things change. If everything was exactly the way we wanted it today then we'd have no goals to strive for. So we need to expect that change will take time. And with that we need tenacity and persistence. Keep going, keep going, keep going. Often we want to quit too soon and don't realize the strength we have within. (Btw - the best example of this I've seen is the Death Crawl scene in Facing the Giants)

2. Don't expect perfection. Remember? Me the perfectionist who doesn't want to be such a perfectionist? Just as it takes time, it also isn't perfect. Right now my living room looks like we just moved into this home. Piles and piles of presents and bags and boxes and paper and stuff. Normally? This is the day that I clean up and reclaim my home from all the Christmas stuff. Today I will be lucky if I leave my couch. And I have to recognize that even though it's not perfect, it's still good. My family is here, there's laughter upstairs, and we were blessed with many new things. All good. Perspective.

3. Let stuff go. See how they all relate? Today I'm having to really let the mess go. I could push myself, but I'll end up sicker and that doesn't benefit anybody. So I'm choosing to let it go. It's the same strategy with things - let them go. We don't need everything, and in fact, too many things creates this inevitable chaos in our lives as we strive to manage it all. Let stuff go. We don't take any of it with us when we die - so lets not live clinging to it all so tightly. Today as you find homes for new things, let other things go.

4. Involve your family. Teach your children now the value in setting goals, and always trying but not needing everything perfect, and that letting go of things is truly a good thing. In fact, in the next couple of days I will work with my family to sort through their rooms and to choose toys to donate. Make it a part of your family's posture - goals, letting go, and perspective.

5. Give yourself grace. You will mess up. It's inevitable. No matter how hard I try, or how perfect my color-coded chart of goals is, or how determined I am to make this plan work or the kitchen stay clean or to not raise my voice there are still times where I mess up. Give yourself grace. Remember - you are not your emotion. You may be feeling frustrated, irritation, and overwhelm, but you? you are simply not the emotion. Emotions are there to teach us to change or that something isn't working. Often overwhelm is a simple signal that the current strategy isn't working. Step back, breathe, recognize that you are more than overwhelm, and replace that emotion with something more empowering. And give yourself grace. Constantly be on the lookout to give and to receive grace.

6. Make some target goals. This is similar to the one word that people choose for the new year. Set some simple target goals - I will wake up at this time, my kitchen island will be clean, I will shut the computer off at this time - and then work hard to stick with them. Notice the word - some. So often I end up writing a list of a zillion target goals and find myself overwhelmed by day two morning. Write your list of goals, and then pick three. Work the three that will make the biggest difference and leave the rest till those original three become a habit.

7. Start fresh every morning. Finally, remember to start new every morning. If yesterday was awful it doesn't need to define today. Little ones in the home create chaos, mess, challenges - expect that - but don't lose sight of all the good they create - laughter, joy, eyes to see beauty, and love of the little things. Bless your family with each day starting fresh - everyone gets a clean slate. The past is the past. Learn from it, grow from it, but do not let it define your today. Today is a new day - a gift - use it wisely and remember to cherish the little moments of joy that are tucked within the fabric of normal.

Seven very simple ways to simplify - these are more of a mindset versus concrete and tangible goals. Often we start with the goals and forget to adjust our minds. Don't forget to start there, and again, always remember that life is truly a journey, a blessed gift, and to live with eyes awake to the blessings that surround us.

What are simple ways that you simplify?

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Images and original content are sole property of Rachel Martin and may not be used, copied or transmitted without prior written consent.

why vacuuming should always be beautiful.

I've had this post mulling in my head for weeks. It was one of those where the words would play out beautifully in my head, and then every time I would sit down to write the words would come out as a jumbled mess. Then Friday happened, that absolute horror in Connecticut, and I found myself in Target with tears rolling down my face grasping to understand evil and crying for the parents and families whose lives were robbed of normal. So now, I finally write. And those words? About life - and normal. ~rachel

I was grumbling.

Not your normal grumble, but rather that under the breath discontent grumble that can be easy to adopt when one isn't careful. My older boys' room looked like it had never been cleaned before. I am completely not joking sadly serious. Toys mixed together with papers with peels of a clementine that should never have been there with pens and markers and clothes and dirty socks and books and anything else you could imagine. It was all there - percolating into this gigantic mess that took me four hours to straighten and deal with. Leftovers from weeks where the cleaning was just on the surface leaving behind residue and the obvious example that looking at stuff on the surface doesn't really solve the issue.

Grumble, grumble, grumble.

The boys would come in and offer to help and I would just grumble back at them. I don't need your help or if you had just been a steward of your room this crazy chaos wouldn't have happened or I'll just do it myself. Martyr mom. That was me. Complaining, not accepting help, and just grumbling my way through normal.

I pulled out the vacuum determined to at least get the floor clean even though I had a massive pile of things to sort through. I flipped it on, the soft hum filled the room, and I looked up to see Caleb sitting there, on his bed, stacking books and pulling legos out of the pile and tossing them in the large bin. He looked at me, the grumbling mom, and simply smiled. A sincere I love you even when you complain about this messy room smile.

As I held the vacuum, still running, my eyes welled up with tears. When did I lose the beauty in this normal, even though the normal like today was frustrating? When did the gift of having children in my home get lost and I instead just wanted every little thing perfect and tight and without mess?

Childhood is messy. My goodness, life is messy.

We don't know our days. This is even more pressed on me as I look at pictures of little children who are no older than my own kids whose lives were unfairly lost last week. Those parents would give anything for a room cluttered with a pile of stuff and an eager little one there to help sort through the pieces and here I was grumbling. Perspective, perspective, perspective.

It's so easy to lose.

Sadly, it's often when we lose the things that matter that we regain the perspective of just how much those things, those people, matter to us. It baffles my mind how quickly I lose sight of the joy in the gifts in life that are smack in front of my face. But, how to keep it? Keep vacuuming beautiful. Choose something, a daily task - laundry, dishes, folding clothes, picking up - and make it a benchmark, a reminder, for you to remember the preciousness of the life that you have in front of your face. And make it something that is the most unglamorous. I've found that when you lose normal you miss those things the most and long for the days when you can simply vacuum a room with your seven year old sitting on the bed cleaning beside you.

Life is good. Life is a gift. Life is precious.

Don't let the mundane moments in life rob you from the beauty of normal that surrounds you. Remind yourself to look for the beauty, the gems that are tucked within the fabric of the everyday normal. Force yourself to wake up, to see, the remember, and to be thankful for the blessings that fill your life.

Don't lose sight of the good.

Vacuuming is beautiful. It's a representation of normal, and normal, my dear friends, is an absolute gift. Celebrate normal. Celebrate those vacuuming the kids floor who made a huge mess but are sitting in your home playing moments of life.

Keep perspective. Savor today. Love the little things.

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click dear mom letters to read more encouraging letters for moms
Images and original content are sole property of Rachel Martin and may not be used, copied or transmitted without prior written consent.

the rushing mom embraces today

A couple days ago I shared with you two little words in my post 5 Ways to Be More Present Today that I have to tell myself all the time - don't rush. I was surprised by how many of you resonated with that phrase - that rushing, hurrying through life phrase that even though we don't want to be racing through our day that we still rush phrase. It's no wonder. Culture is simply not set up to sit still - it's a racing, rushing, speeding society where we're taught if you don't constantly push you'll be immediately behind.

It's pressure. It's expectations to do, to be, to purchase, to perform, to maintain - it's a blur of needs and wants and must haves lumped into the everyday.

Yet, there is this balance that needs to be found - a balance of moving with knowing how to breathe and simply sit and embrace today. Motherhood is in a way a counterpoint to the rushing - it is full of moments, life moments, joy, learning, laughter, that in essence requires not rushing, not racing, not hurrying to get through.

I am a racer. I wake up in the morning feeling behind and move frenetically throughout the day constantly trying to just break even. It's like treading water sometimes. I'll tell myself I'll get to those real important moments - the book reading, car driving, painting, sitting on the couch, baking cookies - in just a minute, in a second, after I quick finish everything that is staring at me constantly in the face. Then I'll go to bed, and think about how the next day I want to be intentional, and concrete, and stop rushing through the moments that I'm blessed with each day.

And yet, I do it again. Running. Rushing. Racing.

Slowing down is not simple for me. Slowing down is a discipline. It takes work to focus my mind and actually play with the Tow Mater car that Samuel hands to me and interact with him and the 29 other cars that he's dragged into the living room to play with. It is work. It often means that my living room looks lived in by the time 4 pm rolls around. And that is okay - I'll clean it at 5pm. But, if I don't let the freedom of a box of cars dumped out over my floor at times and me, the busy mom, on the floor with them, then I'm losing out on moments that matter. Honestly? I want to rush through or avoid the mess and just keep it looking perfect all the time. But then I sacrifice that sweet laughing moment with my three year old. And I really don't want to lose that.

So what to do? How do you, how do I, learn to balance the to-do list without rushing within the race of motherhood? We do, after all, have to keep up with a very real, and very large to-do list. It simply needs to get done. Yet, there needs to be this balance between the racing and the embracing of the day.

One thing I've learned, and I've shared before,  is to begin to write down on my to-do list some non rushing through the day items. Play cards. Read for 15 minutes. Take the girls for coffee. Watch the sunrise while sitting on the front porch. Build with legos. Help them write a story. Get the dress up box out. Play catch in the backyard.  If they're not in front of my face then often I won't do them.

I want to live an intentional relationship focused life -- just like many of you so sweetly write to me about in the emails, comments, and facebook notes. We're in this together, this journey to find balance in motherhood. And it is balance. I want a clean laundry caught up dinner done by 6pm home just as much as you do - but I also, just like many of you write, don't want to be so stuck on this ideal that I become discontent, grumbling, and racing to keep everything looking a certain way that I push the moments with my kids aside till the rarely coming time when I slow down and stop.

Take two minutes, reflect on motherhood and joy and what truly matters, and figure out what the you are going to wish that you had just put down your agenda of stuff and instead embraced their agenda moments actually are. Maybe it's rocking just a bit longer in the morning with the toddler. Maybe it's making chocolate chip cookies with the four year old and letting them help even though it's a mess. Maybe it's a walk around the block. Maybe you read the same book over and over and stop to answer every single question that pops up after ever 18 words.

Slow down, just for a moment, and plan.

Otherwise today will simply race past and tomorrow will come and another and again and again.

Slow down. Just for a bit.

The rushing mom meets real life today. And for this one? She's going to slow down. Just a bit.

What are some moments that you want to embrace today?

to read another post on intentional living click What Can You Do Today to Be More Intentional
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do one thing days. or also known as the day when the to-do list threatens to takes over.

Which would be today.

My to-do list now has categories, subsections, pages, highlights, urgents, a long running to do within the week area, and extra notes. Laundry was at the top, but I quickly bumped that and put family. I'd love to squish laundry at the bottom, but due to the lack of socks and underwear around here laundry will get one of the coveted upper slots. I feel a folding party in the future.

And now, because I live what I write, today my post will only consist of this short mention of the ridiculous to-do list, a cheer for all of you and all of your to-do lists, the words that you can totally do today and a reminder that what you do matters, and me looking at the list in front of me, doing one thing and doing it well, me pausing for just a bit so that I don't miss the beauty of fall outside my window, and the decision to live seeking joy. Even with the massive to-do list.

Here's to all you do - the cleaning, list writing, laundry folding, kitchen cleaning, dishes drying, potatoes chopping, cereal pouring, diaper changing, vacuuming again and again, window washing, book reading, phone calling, email responding, nap time tucking, toy picking up, smiling in the midst of the crazy super full to-do list days of motherhood. I'm right there with you.

One thing. Do one thing.

That's my motto.

Starting with them.

to read about my to-do list strategy read starting at the top.
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starting at the top.

This is one of those weeks that has more things scheduled than I think there are hours within the week. Or, actually, there are probably enough hours in the week but that would mean probably giving up sleep. And, grin, going from experience that is not the way to go.

I woke up this Monday morning early, with the sun just barely peeking over the yellowing maple tree leaves, and I felt my heart begin to race. Get moving. Finish this. Remember. How are you going to finish that? Go there. Too much to do. Did you do that? The to-do list was moving on to a second piece of paper and I started a second cup of coffee and began to get distracted with every single thing that needed to be finished.

I could feel time slipping by - racing by - as I tried to determined how I was going to balance everything I needed to accomplish today. Then I realized - it wasn't going to all get done no matter how many extra hours I would hypothetically be blessed with. I knew I was going to have to choose between all of those important things on that terribly long distracted to-do list of mine.

Do this. Don't do that. Remember the real important. Don't compare. Slow down. Schedule family time.

It's this balance of not letting the to-do list distract me from my real importants. My real importants? Teaching my kids. Getting breakfast. Sitting and having coffee with my husband. Playing with my kids. Not racing through the day to just get everything done, but rather allowing myself to step back just a bit and live with an intentional and grateful spirit despite the busy.

That part is hard. The grateful, stilling of the heart racing and managing of the to-do list, part when I have that ridiculous to-do list that needs an index.

The to-do list is like picking apples, in a way. Yesterday, we picked apples at my parents as the sun set. The deal with picking them is that you start with the apples up high on the branch and let the easy to pick apples wait until you get the high ones otherwise the branch gets too light and those apples get popped up too high. It's prioritizing what needs to be done - and picking them one at a time at a time at a time. It takes time, and it's easy to think that the tree will never be picked, and yet, if you keep at it eventually all those apples will find their way in boxes and bags.

My family is on the top of my to-do list. That's not distracted. That's rightly-ordered.

So I take my to-do list and I break it down. Urgent. Must do. Family. Writing. House. And then I start to choose and list my tops in each category and then that is where I start. When I see it all staring me in the face I get overwhelmed and distracted and that's when I fuss over the milk spilled or laundry to do or toys dumped out in a pile. I call it the distracted to-do list because I miss the real important and get way too frustrated when I don't accomplish everything on it.

Today? I'm kicking the distracted to-do list to the curb and starting at the top.

Real importants.

Family.

Then the rest. One thing, one check mark, at a time.

That is starting at the top.

******

To read some goals for this week read three mom goals for the week.
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thanks to my daughter, Hannah Nicole, for these pictures.

three mom goals for the week.

Three little reminders, some goals,  for this week about joy, motherhood, perspective, and priorities.

1. Devote intentional time. They don't stay little - I don't want to get so caught up in the busy that I miss today. Just last week it was my sweet little, but now getting very much big, Samuel's third birthday. Each time a birthday rolls around I have that moment of pause where I sit back and wonder where on earth the time went and I feel that pang of they're growing up. So remember, no matter what stage you're in - they don't stay little. And when I let myself see my children in that light then I start to dwell less on the difficulties and instead see the joy. Their laugh, the funny things they say, how they stack their toys, and how they see the world. When we remember that this season of childhood is short {and that someday in the future we'll look back on it with nostalgia} it gives us much needed perspective.

2. Let go of guilt. It's the guilt of I should have done this or I didn't get that done or why didn't I do that that is so easy to slap onto our day. The other day, I was feeling it, this guilt, that I put on myself about not getting everything done that I wanted to. I just kept looking around and seeing everything that I was behind in and began to spin myself into this cycle of feeling guilt over not finishing my to-do list for the day. Then my husband, who works from home, came downstairs and saw me sitting at our island with tears in my eyes and he told me to start to remember everything that was accomplished - the dinners, the stories read, the giving of time, the finished work, the time when I smiled even though the kitchen that was just cleaned was now messy,  and all that - and to let go of the guilt. The guilt was brought on by me - my ideas of what I thought needed to be a certain way - and then I lost perspective and missed seeing the blessings right in front of me.

3. Remember to be thankful for the work. For me, it's fairly easy to begin grumbling about all that I need to accomplish in every single day. I'll look at the pile of laundry, the dishes, the emails, the work, the driving, the cleaning, the starting over at the beginning of that list and doing it again. Then I'll start to grumble. And gradually that grumbling turns to irritation to discontent to overwhelm. So instead of getting frustrated with the work - which robs from joy - I've been working {and it's a work in progress} of adopting an attitude of gratitude for the work. Being thankful for the dishes to wash and mouths to feed. Thankful for a dryer that works and clothes to wear.  Thankful for time with my family, fellowship, and friends. Seeking thankful because to me, thankfulness helps joy grow.

This week I'm going to remember, to keep perspective, and am going to work on being thankful. Those are my goals tucked within the everyday.

How about you?

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