why motherhood is not a competition

Do you feel it?

This crazy measuring up pressure on mothers? On you? Right now in the midst of motherhood? In the midst of a life of mothering and caring for children? This unwritten rule of what perfect motherhood should look like? Be like?

And does it make you tired like it makes me?

When I  am blessed to speak face to face with moms (like I was blessed to do in Florida where I spoke this weekend) almost every time during our conversation we end up talking about the ridiculous pressure, this unwritten competition, that could/can/may/does exist between mothers. Eyes would well with tears as we'd talk about motherhood and this feeling of being out-of-breath and trying to do our best and yet feeling overwhelmed and alone in this journey where support and friendship is most needed.

There is not one perfect motherhood choice out there.

There is not a manual on how to have the perfect motherhood life and children and house. Yet, there is often this crazy unspoken about competitive world of motherhood out there where we as mothers could feel like the measuring bar of what one needs to do is so high and unattainable and we'll never reach the top.

Do you know what I believe you and I need to remember?

This.

Moms don't need to one-up each other. Moms need to embrace each other.

When we compete we lose seeing the heart of the person sitting in the room with us.

We need to learn to love each other in the midst of lives that may look different than our own. To extend a hand to another and to accept help from another. To be real with where they are and to work together to get better. To not judge one's present based on the present of another. To know that our kids aren't our measuring stick of motherhood success. To know that there are many many many different choices that we make and that the choices don't define the perfect mother.

We could get stuck thinking that there is only one way to do motherhood. Then we're back into comparing - working versus not working versus staying at home versus part time. Comparing medical choices - vaccines versus no vaccines or breast feeding versus bottle feeding. Education choices, sports choices, extracurricular choices, parenting choices,  housing choices, and on and on and on.

And then? Then beyond the big life choices there are the pressures. The pins, the trips, the crafts, the projects, the not caring about doing those things, the cars, the houses, the decorating, the extra-curricular activities, this and that and a world full of millions of things to do that can clutter our brains so that we miss seeing the important.

Those things don't define mothers.

They don't define you.

You.

You might have to work and don't want to work  and realize that it's the best choice for you and your family  but you get yourself out of bed every single morning and you love on your kids and you work. You are a good mom. 

You might want to work and love working and realize that it's the best choice for you and your family and you get out of bed every single morning and you love on your kids and you work. You are a good mom.

You might stay home with your kids and you realize it's the best choice for you and your family and your get out of bed every single morning and you love on your kids and you stay at home and work. You are a good mom.

Listen to me. You and I could list every single choice that we're presented with as moms - all of those things that often get debated and cause such animosity between people and at the end of the day and the end of the list you and I would still need to put at the end - you are a good mom.

Motherhood and motherhood success and beauty and the root of motherhood cannot ever be determined by those externals. We are all different. With different paths - which includes bumps in the road that push us in directions that we never ever imagined that we must work through. And yet, sweet mother, we are all women who are in the midst of the motherhood journey. It's can be easy to look at externals and forget the heart of the person, the mother, standing in the room with you.

What if the excess of information, the options to have more and do more, and the comfortableness of life was removed? What if instead of dealing with soccer camps, decorating living rooms, and which grocery store we were going to shop at we just had to all survive? You know as well as I do that the competitive measuring up parameters would be simply erased. We wouldn't care how perfect our schedule and planner looked - we'd focus on living. We'd see how valuable and important the simple giving of self motherhood things truly are in life.

I think that's the thing, the truth, that we need to remember in motherhood.

Let's look at what matters.

It's the giving of self in the midst of a period of life where you are pushed to exhaustion and yet you have to give, give, give even when it's not often reciprocated or appreicated. It's the late night rocking and singing of songs while you let the dishes wait. It's the times when you have to work simply to put food on the table. It's the moments where you gather all the courage, tenacity, and bravery that you can find and you fight for your kids and family. It's in the good mornings and I love you's and tucking in at night. It's in learning to love and to thrive in the midst of crazy busy.

All this comparing robs joy and distorts from the being enough moments and beauty of motherhood.

And often creates a culture of aloneness and feeling like one doesn't measure up.

Enough.

You are enough. (link)

You are amazing and a fighter in a world of expectations. You love on your kids. You do what is best for your kids. And your story will look different from my story from the story of the moms that I met this weekend from the moms reading this in London to the moms in New Zealand to the moms at the doctor's office and from everybody else.

You matter. You make a difference.

It is not a competition.

So your decisions, your choices, your external things that so often grade motherhood aren't a grade of success. They are simply part of your story. What if we as women decided to strip away all of those things that could make us compete and instead look at the mom, the person, the friend, the woman that is standing in preschool next to us?

Do you know what we'd find?

A mom. With her story. Real.

A mom with her own moments of bravery. A mom, just like you, living in a world where there is crazy competition. A mom with ups and downs and good times and bad times and moments where this whole motherhood thing makes her need a good cry. Or laugh. A mom whose life isn't perfect.

Underneath it all, underneath the expectations, the parameters, the never ending ladder of what mothers should be doing, underneath that are moms.

Moms are amazing.

So keep fighting for your kids. Rising up. Brushing their hair. Gathering your courage. Driving where you need to go. Laughing with them. Working. Making dinners. Helping with homework. Saving passwords on the computer. Dealing with sibling issues. Folding socks.  Or doing whatever you need to do and know that in it all that it makes a life difference.

It's not a competition.

It's motherhood.

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All photographs used by permission and credited to Hannah Nicole.
Images and original content are sole property of Rachel Martin and may not be used, copied or transmitted without prior written consent.

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the mom confession.

I am writing this in my hallway at the top of the stairs because my two little boys won't stay in their room and go to bed unless I sit up here at the doorway and utter words like go to bed and stay in bed now - I mean it and no more water and you will lose media time if you get out of your bed again until they both decide to give in, slip under their covers and go to sleep.

That's the truth.

I've tried charts. Bedtime routines. Stickers. Time outs. All of it. And I've resorted to working at the top of the stairs for an hour each night and muttering those phrases. I've actually gotten quite used to emailing, tweeting, facebooking, and writing with my back against the door to my room and my eyes constantly looking in their room to see if they're asleep.

(they're not right now... in case you were wondering.)

My life isn't all together. I've got my share, well more than my share, of ups and downs, fails and do-overs, highs and lows, and sitting at the top of the stair moments because I can't seem to think of something better to do.

I make boxed macaroni and cheese for lunch with the little powdered cheese.

We don't eat organic apples.

I buy my kids fruit roll ups.

Sometimes my kids play too much media.

I skip words, okay paragraphs, in long books at bedtime.

I don't fold all the little boys clothes because they just dump them out anyway.

My sock basket is rarely ever folded.

I don't like doing dishes.

My living room right now (which I can see because I am sitting at the top of the stairs) has throw pillows on the floor, papers on the couch, a lamp shade that's crooked, shoes scattered by the door, and a couple empty boxes waiting for the toys to be dumped back in.

My pinterest board however, has pictures of perfectly organized living rooms.

I love Starbucks and will drive there sometimes with the kids in the back and then I will take the long way home.

I get impatient with my kids.

And I'm normal.

My kids? Well, they're normal. Or as normal as kids who want every single thing fair are ever going to be.

Motherhood isn't based on perfection. It's not based on having gluten free (which we must have in my world) or whole wheat macaroni with organic apples and socks that are matched and never getting impatient and a perfectly picked up living room that looks like a pinterest board.

Motherhood is simply real.

Real with real moms who lose their patience, who want to throw in the towel, who have kids (like my Samuel who is now in the hallway next to me telling me he doesn't want to go to bed now) who don't stay in bed. It's full of moms who have to work who'd rather stay home. Or moms who stay home who'd rather work. Or moms who are simply tired with the every day same routine.

It's full of real moms who take their kids to the apple orchard and the zoo and the coffee shop and the grocery store and the doctor and to school and all of that normal stuff. It's full of moms who feel like all they do is the laundry again and again and if they see clean clothes stuffed in the hamper again they threaten to take them away and sell them (or maybe that's just me). It's full of moms who are happy, joyful, sad, overwhelmed, and well, let's face it real.

That's the being enough mom. (link)

That's my confession. It's not that I don't want to be better. I think at heart we wake up each day and want each day to be better than the next. That's why I celebrate pulling up the boot straps and trying again and again and giving yourself grace. (Don't forget grace. Ever.) Motherhood has moments of extreme patience, extreme trying, and really learning to not compare.

Motherhood isn't based on external markers of perfection.

Motherhood is an act of learning. Every single day. It's being okay with the fact that maybe you like the convenience of that boxed macaroni and cheese. You know why? It's because it's not based on what other moms are doing - it's based on you - on you knowing your family, knowing what is best for your family, and being brave and confident in what you're doing.

Motherhood, and in fact life, is often this journey of waking up and discovering self.

That's the truth.

So I tell you, you right now, you the mother in whatever stage of motherhood you may find yourself that you are doing just fine. You are doing fine if your kids don't stay in bed, you hate potty training (does anyone like that one?), your kids have melt downs in the store, you get exasperated, you sneak the last bit of ice cream for yourself, and well, you're just you.  Just keep trying, keep doing your best, and keep growing more and more confident in your ability to mother.

You know what your kids need? Of course you do. They don't need perfect.

They need you.

You, the imperfect wonderfully perfect for your kids, mother.

That's my mom confession today.

Oh yes, and we're having hot dogs and peaches and macaroni and cheese for lunch.

******

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All photographs used by permission and credited to Hannah Nicole.
Images and original content are sole property of Rachel Martin and may not be used, copied or transmitted without prior written consent.

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dear mom raising a child gluten free

A little over three years ago I wrote a letter to myself about raising a little boy with Celiac Disease. (link) I wrote it because I was just coming to grips with my then little under two year old Samuel's diagnosis with Celiac Disease.

I remember those initial days.

I remember crying in Target over the fact that I couldn't buy Goldfish Crackers anymore. I remember feeling daunted walking down the aisles looking at what seemed to be a store packed with gluten full items. (That's my word, by the way, for anything not gluten free - gluten full - and it's simply stuck.) I remember watching the little kids run up to the bakery for their free cookie and thinking that my Samuel would never ever be able to have that moment of the free cookie in Target.

It would be easy for me to live a life seeing all the things that he cannot ever eat and do and miss out on all the amazing things he can eat. And the fact, that bottom line, for Samuel eating gluten free gives him life.

Let me repeat that.

Eating gluten free gives my four year old son with Celiac Disease life.

Is it easy, sweet mother, who is raising a child gluten free (or with other food restrictions) in a gluten full world? Well, often it is not. Many times it is this holding of breath, this watching to see what happens, this extra planning, this explaining, this justifying of his dietary needs.  Do you know what I've learned? I've learned to be patient. Understanding. And that using my voice to share Samuel's story is more powerful than sitting in all the things that don't seem fair.

Truth? Sometimes it doesn't feel fair to me. Sometimes it makes me sad to have to say no to him for stuff that he wants to eat. Sometimes it makes my momma's heart ache just a bit to hear him say is this gluten free mama? (My kids call me mama - it's so sweet to me.)

Then I remember.

I remember that in this world there are so many things that are really not fair and that when one looks at them for too long they can distort and rob us of joy. When Samuel was in the hospital all I wanted for him was to be well. And now, now here he is - thriving - in a gluten full world because he doesn't eat any of it. And that is a gift.

So mom raising a child this way, I know that there are many times where it feels overwhelming. You read labels like never before. You call food manufacturers and ask what in the world modified food starch or natural flavorings really means. You watch your child carefully and analyze what goes in their body. You make sure your home is safe and void of cross contamination issues.

You are giving life.

Remember that. Remember that when you throw in the box of gluten free Rice Krispies that costs double the normal Rice Krispies. Remember that when you bring the homemade cupcake to birthday parties. Remember that as you make homemade playdough and throw away the gluten full playdough in the kits. Remember that as you ask for the gluten free menu and ask if they have a dedicated fryer and all of that.

Even in the challenges, the ups the downs, the moments where it seems overwhelming, or when the gluten free cookies just flop, in the days when you just wish your little one could eat whatever, in the times when you crave those just out of the oven rolls, in the times when you spend $5 on a box of gluten free cereal, in all of that I want you to remember how eating this way gives health. When Samuel was so critically sick I wanted to know what to fight, what the problem was, and wanted a solution.

Look at him now.

My Samuel is amazing. He's full of energy. Life. Vitality. Joy.

And he doesn't eat gluten.

It doesn't need to taint his life or rob him of joy.

In fact, as I write this I see him, sitting in my living room healthy. And I am so grateful that by removing something from his life that it gives him life.

You can do this. I know it's hard sometimes.

But keep the perspective. Remember why you're doing this. And know that you are not alone.

From me, the mom to the now not so little boy with Celiac Disease, who is a perfectly normal four year old, to you.

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Today's photos? A mixture of real life live from the instagram feed. Find me there at finding_joy
Images and original content are sole property of Rachel Martin and may not be used, copied or transmitted without prior written consent.

to the mom with kids under five.

You're my hero.

For real.

My youngest is four. Four years old, and for the first time I feel like I can catch my breath again. I don't have to worry so much about him wandering the house and playing. He just plays. I don't have to spoon feed him, change diapers, potty train, have safety gates, chase him around on the playground, have him in my sight every second, and have some who cannot communicate back to me. I can take a shower now and not have to keep the door open and even though I still get the cries of M-oo-m most of the time it's because one of the boys is irritated that their brother took the Ironman Lego set pieces from the other or they're desperately in need of a snack even though they had one 14 minutes earlier.

When my kids were under five it was crazy.

It was me, the mom, not really getting many moments to catch my breath.

I know you're there.

You wake up before you want to wake up. You change diapers, brush hair, choose shirts and then are met with resistance because there's a tag on the shirt and so now you go and try to find the scissors to cut it off and by that time the baby is crying and hungry. You make breakfast for everyone, try to unload the dishwasher, the cereal spills, and the sounds of Disney Jr come from the family room that instead of being neat has piles of duplos and cars and toys spread everywhere.

And you want to do this right.

I know that.

You're looking at those creatures who haven't yet hit school and you're thinking that you have to do it right so that they're ready for school. There are crafts that you're told you should be doing and classes that will make you're child "ahead" and all of this tremendous pressure to measure up in this competitive motherhood world.

I want to tell you to not compete. Or to at least not worry about doing it right. Truth? Every single mother had to start out as a rookie. Everyone. There wasn't one of us who didn't wake up at 4:30 am with a baby wishing that we could roll over for a bit longer and wishing that breakfast would magically would appear or that SuperNanny would show up at our door and deal with the four year old who has all of a sudden developed quite a spitfire personality who now refuses to help pick up those blocks and hates getting his hair washed and decides to run off in the grocery store.

Motherhood is tiring. My post, to the tired mom, was published on The Huffington Post and received over 100k facebook likes in four days.

Four days, moms.

That's a great deal of tired moms. That's many of us knowing that we're tired but just needing a note that it's okay that we're tired. It's about a group of mothers who despite being tired just want to be acknowledged for those crazy motherhood moments that we plow through day after day after day. I'm here to tell you that being tired doesn't mean that you don't measure up in a hypothetical world of should do's, nor does it mean that you're not a good mom, or any of those worries that runs through your head when you are trying to teach colors and they can't seem to grasp the between green or blue. Or that your friend's child can skipcount and your kid is still stuck on fifteen. That's just real stuff. Kids learn. Don't let yourself get tired trying to compete to the crazy, and I mean crazy, expectations that can be pushed on moms.

Do you know what I celebrate about you? That you're not perfect. That you've had to learn how to do all the mothering things. That you've learned to make the best choices for your family in a world that will scream that this is the best and only choice and you have to sift through 48 different best choices.

I celebrate real.

Real. Authentic. Moms.

And because I celebrate being real I'm here to tell you this morning that when you have kids under five years old you will be tired. You will give of yourself more than you thought you could give. You will look at other moms and wonder if you're doing it right. You will have to learn everything.

You will learn your strength.

You will learn that you are brave.

For months and months and months I've been writing about the brave mother. Mothering little ones is an exercise in bravery. Don't argue, tired and awesome mom of little ones. You, right now, live a life where you are almost always dictated buy the schedule and whims of little humans that you love. They're the ones that you teach Memory to and only use six cards. You teach them to write their names with broken crayons. You cut their grapes, hotdogs, and prepare food that is safe. You wipe faces and hands and then later marker from the wall. You sleep with your ears not turned off so that the cry of the baby wakes you up. You say good morning dude to your four year old and they get upset and say don't call me that.  You slap your hair into a pony tail, push the giant cart at Target, order your lattes, shop the clearance aisle, know which cereals makes your kids crazy, know how to avoid walking by the toy section even if it means making your shopping trip better, and can balance a kid on your hip while finding a nuk while paying and smiling at the cashier.

That is amazing.

So you, today, in your home or at work or wherever you read these words of mine, I want to tell you that you will first of all get through these crazy years. You'll get through. Your kids will grow, they'll  start school and instead of flipping the channels between Nick Jr and Disney Jr you'll now spend time trying to explain the difference between a predicate nominative and a direct object. You'll have rules on media and curfews and will have to enforce sassy talk. Bottom line: you will get through. They will grow. And you will make it.

Breathe.

Or at least attempt a breath in the midst of the giving and cleaning and loving.

You are brave. Powerful. Patient. Inspiring.

Culture may try to make you think you need to be perfect, but I'm here to tell you, there is no perfect, there is only real. You, sweet mother with kids under five, you are the perfect real mother for those kids that can drive you a bit batty. I know sometimes you're worn, tired, doubting your own strength, or just want a break. That is normal. Do not worry. Just keep being awesome. Keep getting up, brushing their teeth, remembering to floss with those little dino flossers when you can, keep making lunches - even if it's boxed macaroni (link), keep driving to preschool, keep calling a friend, keep doing the awesome things that you do.

You are doing fine.

You know what?

You are more than fine - you are amazing.

You can do this today. And tomorrow. And the next day. And the next week. And the next year. And then, someday, someday you will look back and you will not only think that you survived but that you thrived.

Brave motherhood.

That's real. And that's you.

****

Oh yeah, and moms whose kids are grown or beyond the crazy under five stage - today would be an awesome day to tell those moms in the under five trenches how awesome they are and how you're proud of what they do. Those things matter. Send them this post, grab them coffee, watch their kids for an hour, or just simply give them a smile. Don't forget those under five years. #littlethingsmatter

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Today's photos? A mixture of real life live from the instagram feed. Find me there at finding_joy
Images and original content are sole property of Rachel Martin and may not be used, copied or transmitted without prior written consent.

Want to read some inspiring letters to moms? Grab my ebook with 21 original letters.

Raising a child gluten free? Here are ten facts you need to know.

(please note that this post contains affiliate links - read my full disclosure policy for more info)

It will be three years in January since Samuel was diagnosed with Celiac Disease. Samuel has lived more than half of his life gluten free, and in fact, really has no memory of ever eating gluten. It really is a blessing that he was diagnosed so young as this isn't just a choice, but rather is simply a way of life for him.

That being said, living gluten free has been a new adventure for me. I haven't had gluten since he was diagnosed as well, and I've had to learn how to thrive gluten free in a gluten full world. And trust me, you will find normal.

Here are ten things I've learned about raising a child gluten free.

1. You mention the words gluten free every day. I'm writing this post at 7:30 in the morning. Besides typing the words gluten free I've also heard Samuel ask for his gluten free bread and his brother state not to put the knife in the peanut butter that is only for the gluten free bread. (You need to get separate containers or never ever double dip. Also, if your entire house isn't gluten free you'll need a separate gluten free toaster.) When one lives gluten free one talks about gluten. When Samuel was little he used to say me gwooten fwee! For him, that's a normal part of his life.

2. You quickly learn which boxed cereals are gluten free. And to not apologize for the 90% of the cereal aisle that is gluten full.  In the beginning I used to dread bringing Samuel down the large gluten full cereal aisle of colorful packaging and kid's characters. Now? Now we go down the aisle, he asks if it's gluten free and I simply tell him nope and we grab one of the five or so varieties of Chex Cereal. I've just learned to be matter-a-fact about what he can have and cannot. There are no options, no cheating allowed, so it is what it is. And, grin, it really does make shopping for cereal quick and easy.

3.  Kids still don't eat the crusts on the bread. Even on fabulous gluten free bread. Now, as I finish typing this, while Samuel is upstairs playing with legos, I am looking at a super cute plate with crusts left on the gluten free bread. What is it with crusts? 

4. You smart phone is a valuable resource. There are apps that will scan food that will tell you if it's gluten free. I have looked up websites so many times on my phone - I'm the gal in Costco that may look like she's texting, but in reality, I'm typing in the words gluten free + whatever company I'm searching. And don't overlook calling companies. However, oftentimes, they have the same resources as the website. In those times I look at it as an opportunity to exercise patience and to express thanks when a company goes above and beyond and labels their product gluten free. Remember food manufacturers are only required to label the top eight food allergens - and gluten isn't one of them. They'll list wheat, but there can be many hidden sources of gluten. Be careful.

5.  Leaving them in classes can be hard. Truth, it just is. He can't have any gluten full snacks, often times I have to bring him another snack that is different from everyone else's snack, and he can't ever play with playdough. That one is still challenging for me. I have to be very adamant that Samuel cannot have even a cheat day with regards to gluten. I've learned to bring a snack, to verify that there is no playdough - and going beyond that to ask that they do NOT play with playdough while he is in class unless they provide gluten free playdough. Not only is there tremendous cross-contamination risk, but I don't want him to be the one kid isolated and not able to participate in a project. It's all about grace and education. By the way, here is a gluten free dough we've used (you can make your own as well). Eco Dough Gluten Free Dough

6. They don't know what McDonalds is. Seriously. I remember going to a well child checkup and one of the questions was how many times a week does your child have fast food? And I checked none. I guess it's a cool benefit - he, by necessity, will rarely experience fast food. Now, that being said, more and more chains are recognizing the importance of providing gluten free options. But you have to be diligent, to make sure they use a dedicated fryer for their fries (if they're gluten free - McDonald's fries are not), and to weigh cross contamination concerns. But, in my house, it's strange because the powerful golden arches brand isn't recognized by my four year old. 

7. Baking feels like chemistry at times. Okay, okay, okay...truth...most of the time. Baking gluten free is so different than regular baking. Gluten is the binder that keeps items together and gives that awesome elasticity texture found in bread. In order to balance that one must use a variety of different flours and blends. Words like xanthum gum, tapioca starch, guar gum, and flour blends become normal talk while baking. And have patience. Yes, patience. And learn to be grateful for what works. Like these pumpkin bars of mine -> gluten free pumpkin bars I also love this cookbook that you use with Gluten Free Mama's flour. Gluten Free Mama's Best Baking Recipes

8. The words modified food starch and natural flavorings become your nemesis. Could those label words be any more vague? When in doubt - don't buy it. Unless you can research it and verify that it is for sure gluten free. I love the companies that go the extra mile to label their product gluten free. Call them, thank them, purchase their products. It used to take me double the amount of times to go grocery shopping thanks to poorly labeled products. Besides the apps, smart phone search, and phone calls I've found this book -> Cecilia's Gluten Free Guide to be a valued item in those initial sifting through the gluten full to find the gluten free shopping days.

9. You become an advocate. Yes, yes you do. For two years I talked with my Target about getting Udi's Gluten Free Bread on their shelves. They now have it. At my local grocery store the gal in the Natural Food Section will ask me what is good and what to order. I've been working to try to get Starbucks to carry gluten free food. I've talked with the pharmacist about the importance of labeling meds as gluten free (think about amoxicillian - what's the binder?). I network with companies when I travel. I write and talk about Celiac Disease Awareness. And, in just over a week I will be speaking in Florida at FPEA about Raising a Child Gluten Free in a Gluten Full World. Truth? You, too, can become a voice for gluten free living. For Samuel? It's not a trend. It's a matter of life. 

10. You find normal. Yes, this. I always end with this when I'm talking about gluten free living. Normal can be found. It's a new normal, but it's normal. Samuel has Celiac Disease, but do you know what? I don't like to think of it as a disease - for him - eating gluten free is life, health, and vitality. In fact, My good friend Dan Morris has told me to not think about Celiac Disease as a disease, but to think of it as a way of life. We've chatted about the truth that if this world was sans gluten then Samuel wouldn't have Celiac Disease as it wouldn't exist. Truth? He's healthy. He just can't eat gluten. It's a normal that's full of gluten free awesomeness. Think about it that way.

Ten gluten free truths. Are any of you raising a child gluten free? What would you add?

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Today's photos? A mixture of real life live from the instagram feed. Find me there at finding_joy
Images and original content are sole property of Rachel Martin and may not be used, copied or transmitted without prior written consent.

Learn more about living gluten free! Visit http://udisglutenfree.com/
This is a sponsored conversation written by me on behalf of Udi's Gluten Free. The opinions and text are all mine.