1. You can buy one cereal that the whole family will love.
2. Toys will stay sorted in color coded boxes.
3. The kitchen floor that you washed last night will stay clean all day.
4. It is possible to stay caught up on laundry.
5. No one will care who wins the game on family game night.
6. The kids will sit still throughout church.
7. There is a shopping cart without squeaky wheels at Target.
8. You can leave Target with a total under $5. {going to Starbucks doesn't count}
9. You can get the kite to fly on the first attempt and it will land without nearing a tree.
10. You will get the right cereal to milk proportion.
11. Your fridge will be free of almost completely I didn't want to finish it empty jars.
12. There are matching shoes that can be found quickly.
13. During dinner hour there will be no urgent mom cries.
14. The batteries will never be traded out between wii remotes, xbox remotes, and tv remotes.
15. The big birthday present will indeed be more cheered for then the $1.29 bag of jellybeans.
16. Your car will stay clean.
17. You can use the bathroom and the house will remain quiet.
18. The slinky will actually go down the stairs and work.
19. Lego sets will stay together with all the correct pieces.
20. You will get a shower, fresh shirt, and perfect hair every day.
and
21. They stay young forever.
A parenting fact:
Enjoy today - be blessed by the moment - and embrace the little things!
What would you add?
38 comments:
It is totally possible to bathe four children without ever getting water on the floor.
All children love having their hair washed.
If you are really careful, the craft project - paint, glue, glitter spray - will only get on the newspaper underneath, not the floor or wall.
The children will go straight to bed and fall fast asleep at their appropriate bed time.
Vegetables on the plate for any meal will get eaten.
You will get out the door on time if you plan ahead and have everything and everybody ready to go.
Silence in the house means the children are playing quietly.
It is possible to eat a whole meal or snack without a child wanting a bite of yours even though they have their own.
It is possible to eat a whole meal or snack without a child wanting a bite of yours even though they have their own.
It is possible to eat a whole meal or snack without a child wanting a bite of yours even though they have their own.
It is possible to eat a whole meal or snack without a child wanting a bite of yours even though they have their own.
It is possible to eat a whole meal or snack without a child wanting a bite of yours even though they have their own.
It is possible to eat a whole meal or snack without a child wanting a bite of yours even though they have their own.
Homework time will always be a smooth and glorious ride...
The excursion you plan for, pay for, and scrafice for will be a total hit!
Your children can fight a cold off in under three days...
Your morning pre-school time will be implemented without a hitch!
Your child will never pick up something off the ground and put it in their mouth immediately.
Your child will never hit, bite, scratch you or anyone they come in contact with.
You will never get that "can'tthatmomcontrolherkid?" look from strangers at stores because they're throwing a fit. Your child is perfect!
I don't have anything to add...but I love this post.
As I am reading along mentally I am checking things off that continually go wrong at my house :)
HA!
Other people will always find my children and their shenanigans as cute as I do.
No child will stub their toe, bump their head, or scrape a limb more than once every ten minutes.
Your son will always put his dirty socks in the hamper.
Your son will remember to pack underwear when camping.
Your powers of concentration and ability to read with noise and chaos improves the older you get.
Lunch will be served promptly at noon.
Your little ones will consistently nap long enough for you to catch up on laundry, dishes, email, google reader, and you will still have time to eat some chocolate, drink a frappuccino, call a friend, and get 30 minutes of exercise.
Toys will never be flushed down the toilet, dropped down an air vent, or stuffed in the central vacuum hole.
Your children will keep their bedrooms as clean and organized as a photos in the Pottery Barn Kids catalog.
Your 12 year old never has to be reminded to wash her hair.
Love this, Rachel! Miss seeing you around at ballet . . .
You will never have to call poison control.
The food on your plate tastes exactly the same as the (identical) food on their plate, so your child will not refuse to eat what they have and try to mooch off of you.
Your 3 year child will not wake up at 2 am and decide it would be a good time to make herself a bowl of cereal or popcice and leave the freezer/fridge open.
You will not have to wake up to a gallon of milk and cereal spilled in the floor/table and a thawed freezer.
You will not cry over spilled milk.
All Kids will sleep in their bed
You will not have to make 2 trips to the ER in the same day for two different kids/incidents.
Kids will never think of putting __(Name any object)___ in their ears or nose.
You can cook a meal without having anyone hanging onto you!
Your child will crawl, cruse, walk, then learn to climb in the exact order all the parenting books tell you.
Your drink is safe on the counter for 2 minutes while you go to the bathroom. Don't need to worry someone will swipe a sip and share their animal crackers in it as a thank you!
A good mom never defaults to cheap fruit snacks and Cheetos as a bribe to make it through a shopping trip.
After you have 5 kids nothing changes if you decide to have more its easy street.
Everyone well go potty on designated stops on a road trip and make it until the next stop.
Cleaning out the family vehicle before a camping trip is a good idea.
Once your child is 3 they stop eating the "choking hazards" in small toys, rocks, sticks, and other crazy things (so go ahead and get them legos, knex, and marbles).
You will be able to go an entire day without hearing "but mom..."
You will always know why your child is crying.
You will always know why your child is crying.
You will always be able to accomplish everything on your daily to do list.
You will save so much money once your kids are all out of diapers.
I hate getting that look! Lol!!!
You can tell a child no and they will not ask "why."
What a cute, cute post Rachel.
Hoping all is well in your corner and that the new school year is off to a grand start!
HA HA HA! Hilarious.
You can get in the car and no one will need to pee.
On the days you need it most, your kids will play nicely.
Icky stuff will not be picked up of the ground.
Fresh, clean outfits will stay that way all day.
If my brain was actually in gear right now I could probably think of a lot more, too!
Praying right now!
Romans 8:35, 37-39 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?...Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us. For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
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Glad to know its not just my kids that change out the batteries in the remotes and wii controllers! All of these myths are so very true, made me laugh reading the list!
You will always feel like a good mom and your kids will always be perfectly behaved.
When mommy is sick, she gets taken care of and gets to stay in bed extra long. Haha
You will never have to give your 2 year old a bath more than once a day.
Potty training a girl will always go smoothly. She wouldnt ever try to poop in a bowl in the kitchen to avoid the big potty. Only boys do that!
Oh my gosh, so very spot on, like all your posts. Thanks!
Thanks for the laughs!
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