the power of linking arms.

I remember it like it was yesterday even though it was years ago. There I was this newer mom standing in a room full of women who were laughing and chatting and hugging and there I stood right in the middle of all this energy and fellowship and yet I was feeling very much alone.

Why isn't anyone talking with me?
I don't measure up.
I knew I shouldn't have worn this shirt.
I don't fit in.
I want to go home.

I stood there, a bit frozen, with my baby in the stroller and the pang of my heart after I dropped off my toddler in a class, and I just felt so out of place. I wanted to run - to pick up the little ones and pack them in the car so I could drive straight home where I could ignore this whole thing and pretend that I wasn't feeling so alone. Here I was, insecure and out of place, and so needing of a friend, and someone to invest some time in me and to invite me to sit at their table.

I felt invisible.

It was just me. In a room. Filled with women.

Feeling alone.

But, I stood there, with my brave smile on my face while my insides ached, and I just watched. I knew I needed to be bold, but I also wanted to find a friend. To know I wasn't alone.

That is until another mom came up, asked if she could help me find a spot, and started talking to me. She walked with me to get coffee, and told me she thought the baby was cute, and introduced me to her friends at the table. Those friends became my friends.

They linked arms with me.

It's easy to journey through motherhood on autodrive and to not link arms with other mothers. We can  get caught up in this comparison cycle, and the one-ups, and the having everything perfect, and never let people see you sweat type of mothering world. And then we lose the real. We forget to look across the room and see the mom standing there just waiting for someone to come up to them and say hi and cute sweater and to learn more about them. To link arms.

We are looking to be told that we matter, that we're not failing, and that others care. There is power in becoming a generation of women who decide that we're going to be in this together and support each other. Let's be that friend to the mom standing in the preschool room alone, or who comes in the Bible Study and doesn't know where to sit, or who goes to a conference and stares blankly at a room full of people. Step out. Introduce yourself. Be real. Authentic. Care.

We're stronger when we journey together.

I'm so grateful for my now wonderful friend who came up to me, the gal alone, that day.

Link arms.

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10 Fall Favorites. #fridayfaves

That's it.
I'm ready for Autumn.
I'm sorry summer, but I need a change.
Here are just 10 reasons
{with sweet last year fall pictures}
why fall is a favorite thing.

1- Apples

canning and cooking and drying
{and little boys eating apple after apple}

and just being with family

2 - games

inside while the leaves change outside

with family all around

3 - fresh produce

harvested and ready

{and waiting to be pickled}

the green beans that I canned as dilly beans

are already down one jar.

4 - Harvest Crafts

{I still love this owl}

and pumpkin drawings

and leaf gathering

oh, the possibilities.

5 - Pumpkins on the Steps

we always get nine pumpkins total

{I always go to a pumpkin patch where they're sold by weight}

and we line them up out on the front steps.
And one little one {Caleb} always chooses a striped pumpkin.

6 - Pumpkin Bars

with lots of cream cheese frosting

{And I mean lots}
I love that I can make these gluten free.

7- Gorgeous Colors

we're blessed here in Minnesota with 

extraordinary colors

which is good because after the vibrant colors
 we're stuck with the white of winter
 for month

after month

after month.

8 - Candles

burning throughout the day

{with a lovely spice scent}

sitting on the windowsill

warmth.

9 - Costumes

on little ones

who look so unbelievably adorable

and cute

and so, perfectly fall.

10 - Routine

can I just get an Amen for routine right now?

After today's constant crazy I don't know what to do so I'm going to fight with my brother 

I can tell you that I am ready for some solid routine.

{just look at that planner page from March}

Order. It's good.

Those? Those are some of my favorite I'm ready for Fall things.

I am grateful for the change in season. 

How about you?

Want to join Friday Favorite Things?

{it's a moment to step back, reflect, and be grateful for the good in the everyday}

This is week 77 of intentional gratitude.

#fridayfaves

Here's how:

1. Write your own post or link a favorite post from the week

2. Grab the button or link back here {thank you}

3. Add your link below and join the favorite things on Friday fun.

4. Take a minute to visit others who have linked and build community.

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facts from my amazing weekend

A little bit silent over here? Well, I'm back -- right after 10 Days of Intentional Parenting wrapped up I found myself on a plane flying out to Washington DC to emcee the Titus 2:1 Conference - the first ever Christian Homeschooling Blogging Conference.

It was amazing.

So today, I thought I'd share some miscellanies with you about it. I've only got some instagram pictures -- imagine that, I was busy speaking and didn't have time for pics... :)

1. Flying. Despite all early cries {like last July} I actually enjoy flying. I've figured out certain patterns when taking off and landing and no longer feel the need to white knuckle grip the armrest. Turbulence? Bring it on. A little. And, oh yes, I seem to like pictures taken from my plane seat right before I take off -- evident by the two instagram photos below. One is in Chicago and the other in Washington DC. Which is which? Anyone know? And yes, I flew United.

2. Washington Dulles Airport is huge. And I mean H.U.G.E. type huge. And, it's not marked clearly. Up here in Minnesota we like labels. Lots of labels. I was standing around wondering where to go to get my bags when I arrived and it was like - go down this hall, down these two escalators, take a right, go around the corner, up one escalator, down a hall that bends, take an escalator down, take a super fast train, look around in the train for baggage claim signs, get off train, go up two more sets of escalators, go through doors that state stuff about not being able to re-enter, have the moment of doubt that you're in the right spot since you've just wandered around a small city, go through the doors, down one more escalator and then your bags are at a baggage claim 1/2 block from where you are. Good luck, get your bags, and come on back.

3. Online blogging friends are real friends. For those of you who've experienced this - you know what I'm talking about. But, for others, it's an amazing experience to walk into a room full of people and already have connections with them. There were tears shed when I left.

My friend Cheryl {on the left - who organized the conference} and me - first night for the Apologia PJ party
pic taken by my roommate {love her} Tara at Feels at Home Blog

4. The microphone.  I've decided that I need a microphone at home. Could you imagine? Okay kids, if you could all make your way downstairs in 2 minutes we'll be starting. Hmmm...

5. My family, after the Lord, comes first. This weekend was so amazing as it was a beautiful combination of topics - blogging and homeschooling - but was woven together by the common thread of our belief in Christ. I walked away feeling refreshed, on fire for the Lord, and motivated to be a better mom, wife, friend, and blogger.

6. The Lord can carry us. I was blessed to be able to give the Saturday morning keynote. Nervous because I hadn't prepared, had no slides, etc, but I truly felt the Lord calling me to step out of the boat and speak -- and I believe He blessed me with the words. I spoke about not comparing, keeping our eyes on Jesus, and that we matter. It's true, my friends, you matter -- what you're doing today, in being a mother it matters. Wiping noses, dealing with sick kids {I came home to a home full of sick children}, writing an encouraging comment, bending on your knees in prayer, all of that matters. The world will tell you that it does not - but friends - it matters.

7. Family. Throughout the weekend I realized how passionate I am about reclaiming family. I realize that our culture, our society, and our world is set out in many ways to steal family from our hands. Just as I wrote last Thursday about family and fighting for it, I'm writing it again today - we must stand up against a culture determined to whittle away at the core of family and instead stand up, stand together with arms linked, and protect, and make family stronger.

8. Intentional with my time. I am convicted to be more intentional. That's it. I just had to put it out there.

9. Pillows. And to wrap it up on a light-hearted note, at the hotel I was at that they had a "selection" of pillows. Note the quotation marks around selection. Here's the deal {that's my instagram photo below} I tested both of the pillows - firm and soft - they were the same. I think it was a marketing ploy - but it gave me something to chuckle about in front and for that I was grateful.

I'm looking to get back in the groove of my writing. The last time I took two days off {was that it?} was back in October. Of course, I'm linking with my lovely friend Carissa. Who, if you'll remember was a friend I first met through blogging, and then in real life last July {back when I didn't like flying} and now I consider her a life friend. You must read it - When Rachel Met Carissa.  God is good.



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a story of a friendship -- when rachel met carissa

Yesterday, I promised you a great story of a great meet-up. Today, I'm going to tell you how I, Rachel from finding joy, met Carissa from lowercase letters. It's more than just your regular blogger meet up story.

It's the story of a friendship.

And really, it's unbelievable.

I don't even know how to start. I'm sitting here staring at the screen wondering what should be the first line. Should it be the connection that we've forged over the last years? Or the laughter that we share? Or how we met in Charleston? Or how Carissa was just as fabulous as we all know she is? Or that I feel like I've known her forever? All true. But, today, I'm going to start with a bracelet.

Remember back in April when I held a give-away (technically according to legal rules a sweepstakes) for a bracelet from my friend Amy's business, Legacy Bracelets? Well, I prayed and prayed and prayed that whoever won the bracelet would be exactly who the Lord wanted that bracelet to go to. And the winner was my already close friend, Carissa. Who decided to have the bracelet made for her grandmother -- with pictures of her kids on it.

Fast forward. July. When I travel to Hilton Head Island in beautiful South Carolina. And where did I fly into? Charleston. Carissa's home. Of course we were planning on meeting up -- we just waited during the week to finalize details. After being fairly disconnected for a week from internet I emailed Carissa with the line whatcha doing Saturday? -- only to discover that her sweet grandfather had died and that she might not be able to make lunch as she had to fly out on Saturday. In the midst of trying to manage a lunch together (which we did) we discovered -- via email -- that the oddest coincidence had occurred.

We were on the same flight from Charleston to Atlanta.

I remember emailing her asking if it's possible that the flight she was on was Delta 730 leaving at 6:25. The flight that we had booked months prior.  She emailed back that my flight was her flight. I really couldn't believe it. What are the odds of that happening?

We went through our lunch at Poogan's Porch on beautiful Queen Street in Charleston. I was nervous, yep totally nervous, and yet when we met it was as if we had known each other for years and years and years. My friends and I and sweet Carissa went upstairs to eat our lunch and we laughed and shared stories and our faith. And my friends told me that our lunch meet-up was one of the highlights of our entire trip. They loved her just as I much as I already did.

(starting in the back left going clockwise -- me, Amy, Carissa, Julie,and Susie)

We did the obligatory posed but trying not to look posed pictures outside.Ha ha ha.  My friends were trying to get me to smile or laugh or something and I just made silly faces. Then we hugged a short goodbye, and left our Queen Street meeting spot, because we knew we'd meet in the airport soon. Strange, huh?

Fast forward to the Airport. As we waited in the Delta check in line we met again. And yes, I saw that adorable and loveable Sage of hers. Her mother was with -- they were flying together for her grandfather's memorial service. After going through security (which was so easy in Charleston) we met again at the boarding gate. And Amy met her mother.

Re-enter the bracelet.

Carissa explained to her mother that Amy was the one who made the bracelet for her grandmother, her mom's mom, wife of her grandfather who just passed. Then she explained how important that bracelet was because it had pictures of her grandfather on it with his grandchildren. I stood there, in an airport in the midst of Charleston, and watched the exchange, the tears in Amy's eyes as the bracelet was discussed and I could only marvel that the Lord, our great Creator, could put together such a meeting.  In the midst of hardness and sadness there was this common thread of joy and family. He knew how our lives would be woven together in such an unbelievable story.

(Carissa's bracelet)

It was a beautiful moment.

I remember sitting on the plane as it soared in the sky between Atlanta and Charleston thinking that Carissa was on this plane with me. I couldn't have ever thought that we would be sharing this experience. Ever. Once in Atlanta we gave our hugs goodbye -- again -- and proceeded through the crazy Atlanta Airport. As I sat eating my overpriced dinner of salad Amy, Julie and I chatted about how much we enjoyed spending time with Carissa. My heart was so grateful for our afternoon together, and yet, at the same time sad that there wasn't more time -- it was too short.

We proceeded to wait at our gate and all of a sudden felt a tap on our backs. It was Carissa and her mom. Their gate was switched and they were right next to ours. Again. The odds. Crazy. We chatted more -- and Sage took a liking to my friend Amy -- and shared stories and life and even joked that this would make an unbelievable blog meet-up story. No one could plan one quite like this one.

Again, hugs goodbye. And this time for real. As I sat in my plane headed for Minneapolis (which as you know got diverted to Chicago) I looked out my window. At Carissa's plane. As it loaded. And I texted her goodbye.

I know it's not a forever goodbye.

In fact, I feel so blessed that the Lord intertwined our lives the way He did. What started out as a blogging friendship, progressed to an even deeper friendship, and now to a real life I met you and know that we are forever friends type friendship.

It's an unbelievable blessing.

And she even liked my silly Minnesotan way of talking. Ya know.  That's real friends.

Ever heard a story like this?

(where the in real life friendship started)

Want to hear Carissa's view? Make sure to read her perspective as well -- click here. And I simply must thank her for several of the pictures on my blog today (all labeled lowercaseletters). My camera? In my car. I know, I know, I know....I was so into packing for the flight that I spaced it all out. My other pictures (taken by Amy) aren't ready yet. So be looking for some more wonderful pics soon.

beauty through tired eyes

that's Elijah after his Aunt Abby did his hair

See my sweet Elijah?  With his crazy spikey gel-covered hair?

He's sick today.  So sick -- we knew.  Instead of running, he sat.  Instead of climbing, he cuddled.  Todd called as I was dropping the girls off at ballet and requested that I bring him to urgent care.  When the husband asks that I take a child to the doctor - I listen and move.

So I brought my sweet three year old to the doctor, and ended up sharing a bit of our story.  Some snippets of our cancer journey made it to the surface, and by the end of the check up the urgent care doctor was calling Elijah a miracle.  I loved that.  It was endearing to me to have a man, a virtual stranger, care deeply for my little man.

It's easy to overlook those moments, isn't it?  We can hurry about dashing from errand to appointment to the store to ballet and gradually we lose the gifts tucked into those snippets of time.  Like a doctor, calling my son 'Lijee, instead of Elijah.  I found out that this doctor has a son of his own named Elijah.  How else would he know such an endearing nickname, and one that we use, to call our son?

I was thankful.

At Target, while filling our prescription, I was blessed by the pat on my hand from the pharmacist.  She must have seen the weariness in my eyes -- between Samuel's croup and Elijah and the other boys' coughs -- I am tired.  She told me, after explaining how to correctly dose Zithromax, to have a blessed afternoon.  She could have just left and moved onto the next customer.

I was thankful.

Then tonight, a dear friend listened as I replayed the saga of my week.  She didn't hurry my story.  She listened.  Oh, how I needed an empathetic ear, to feel cared for, and to be encouraged.

I was thankful.

Sometimes the ordinary moments of a frenetic day yields the most beautiful lessons.  Lessons in listening, and caring, and speaking.  God can meet us in unique and intimate ways throughout our days.  From a nickname, to a blessing to a friend -- those are gifts -- ones that I could have missed or taken for granted.  Yet, for some reason, today with my exhausted body I saw them.

I am thankful.

____________

Just in case you're wondering, my little Elijah has a double ear infection and the starts of pneumonia. We knew he had taken a turn for the worst when he refused to get off our laps and would just rest on the floor.  He's had a bad cough since last week Friday, and it seemed to be mending, but just today shifted.  He's sleeping now.  And, I'm thankful for that as well -- and for trusting my husband's instincts.

Elijah -today- at Target waiting for his medicine

is it just me?

I have these blogging struggles.  I really do.  Not about writing, as I could write, write, write.  But more about NOT allowing me to get caught up in the numbers aspect of blogging.  That's not me.

Yet, I found myself wondering about what makes readers come and go.

You'd think I wouldn't care, right? Yet, I'll be wondering if it was something I wrote -- was I not serious enough? or funny? is my grammar bad?  my pictures not high quality? or what? Somehow I get as insecure as a lanky third grader wishing to be picked for a team for kickball.

So I started to ponder the reasons behind the insecurities.  Comes down to those old struggles about fitting in and being noticed. Those traps.  It's ironic that the outlet that I love so much has the very traps that I've struggled with since I was the lanky third grader mentioned above.

So instead -- I've decided to focus on what I do have, the truly important, and what I love about blogging. Those truths? 

Many of my followers have become my friends.
Truly friends.
Friends that I trust, that I love, that I am grateful for.
It's not about the numbers.
Really.
It's about the relationships.
And I'm grateful.
For you.

It's a strange thing, blogging.  Strange how it makes me look right at my heart.