13 Mom Truths

1. Your house is not a reflection of your parenting skills. You know what I'm talking about. It's 2:28 in the afternoon and there's a knock on your door and your house isn't perfect. Open the door. Welcome your friend in. Don't apologize for whatever it looks like in your home. Show them you're real. And remember your house isn't a reflection of your parenting skills. It's just a house - big, small, neat, cluttered, tidy, organized, whatever - that doesn't matter. What matters is you - mothering, teaching, and loving your kids.

2. Sometimes you just need to read the same book over and over again. Or teach the same truth over and over again. Or deal with the same discipline issue. Or wash the dishes (ha) again. Parenting involves a great deal of repetition. And sometimes the repetition is needed. For instance? The book reading? Kids need to hear the same one again - they recognize the nuances in the story and it's how the learn. And you? You can add that book to your books known by memory. And discipline stuff? Well it takes work. Don't give up. Just keep going.

3. Melt downs in the store happen. Just the other day while I was at Target I observed the pinnacle of child meltdowns happen. Screaming, tantrum throwing, and the whole shebang wrapped up in what appeared to be a spitfire of a four year old. And the mom? Gritting her teeth, moving calmly, putting the massive cart away, and buckling the child in. All I could think was you go mom - keep your head high. You all know they happen, guys. When they do, don't judge. Encourage.

4. You will be tired. Want me to explain this one? Probably not. Grab your coffee or chai tea or energy drink or green drink or whatever you need and rock on mom. You can do this.

5. Some days will be tedious. Other days normal. Other days challenging. Other days amazing. Motherhood is like a rollercoaster rides of days. And often those feelings can happen in the midst of the normal day. You may start out feeling like you're the queen of motherhood only to have the rug pulled out from underneath you at 8:34 am and you're ready to call in back up. Just like your house doesn't define you your days don't define. It's the constant movement that matters. And loving your kids.

6. Kids get sick. This. Especially for you new moms out there. Our kids get sick. It just happens and when it does we just deal with it. I'm still telling you though - it's an art to deal with a vomiting no aim two year old. Or to stay up all night with one with an ear ache. Or to sit in a doctor's office and fight for diagnosis. Kids get sick. Not the fun part of parenting.

7. Less things equals less stress. The more you have the more you have to manage. The busier you are the more you will feel like you are racing around running on empty. Clearing out the clutter is one of the best things to do - constantly get rid of stuff. And it teaches our kids to not get sucked into the more is better conundrum of life.

8. You'll make mistakes. Like me. I published this post originally without a number eight (that's what I get for not checking the order). But you know what? Mistakes happen. They don't define us. We can learn from them, move on, and work to do better next time. Perfection doesn't happen. Real does. :)

9. Laundry will never be done. Yeah. It will be on the list, but as we all know the 18 seconds of not having a piece of dirty clothes in the laundry basket is short lived. Put laundry on the breathing list - the things to do that are just a normal needed part of life. And celebrate those 18 seconds when the laundry is done. That's good too.

10. Get down on their level. Look them in the eye when they talk to you. Learn to love what they love. It's easy in this fast pace tweet it instagram it facebook it racing world to lose the art of looking and communicating with those we love directly. Intentionally cultivate moments in your life where the social noise is quiet so that you and your kids can have space within the busy.

11. Sippy cups leak. Toys break. Those things don't matter. Those things in life aren't what you're going to remember at the end of your days. I think I remember a couple of my toys from childhood - my Mr. Owl Math Fact Calculator, a Barbie that had on a glitzy gold outfit, a lego set, and a keyboard. You know what I do remember? Going to the lake and fishing with my parents. Seeing the Ice Palace on a cold Minnesota winter morning. Playing Skipbo with my family. Riding bikes. Racing in the backyard. Simple little things.

12. Don't worry about savoring every single moment. Give yourself grace, really. Going back to the kids being sick point - there are simply times in life where the little moments aren't really the best. Don't stress about that. Instead be grateful for the moments tucked within the normal. So often we don't realy expect them - they're the you're the best mom moments after you cut the pbj into triangles and get them a glass of milk. Moments matter, but not all moments need to be savored. Make it a habit to record the good so that you can remember.

13. There is no supermom. There is only the real mom. And the real mom is brace, tenacious, funny, crazy, excited, tired, giving, crying, hoping, loving, challenging, working, worn out, loving life, loving those kids, and amazing. Real moms are amazing. Normal moms are amazing. You, the mom who loves and gives and cares for her kids, are fabulous simply because you are mom. Remember, just like I'm writing about in my book - being a mom is enough.

Thirteen Mom Truths. What would you add?

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All photographs used by permission and credited to Hannah Nicole.
Images and original content are sole property of Rachel Martin and may not be used, copied or transmitted without prior written consent.

how moms get it all done

Well, truthfully, they don't.

Bottom for real it's just how it is line - they don't get it all done.

I don't. You don't. The mom next door doesn't. The mom at the preschool class with the super cool treats with handmade decorations doesn't. The mom in the Starbucks (excellent choice) line in front of you doesn't. The mom at church, work, school, grocery store, doctor's office, next door, driving to baseball, and all the other moms - they just don't get it all done.

And it's okay.

I know, you're probably looking at that to-do list (or not if you're simply anti to-do lists) and right now a million things are running through your brain. I know even writing that triggered a list that raced through my head - move the laundry from the washer to the dryer, fold the towels that got dumped out of the dryer and not folded, finish cleaning the kitchen, make sure you work on multiplication facts, call to check on test times, call the dentist and set up cleanings (weren't we just there?), call the doctor and set up a recheck, get groceries, respond to emails, write post, help with science report, find something for dinner, wipe down fridge interior, go get groceries, don't forget gluten free bread, and on and on - all of that? All I had to do was think of a list and those are the things that immediately came into my mind.

And then, then the list of everything I should have done will start to pester me. I should have read one more book, should have played longer, should have helped them clean their room, should have, should have, should have.

The truth? You and I and all the moms in the world just don't ever get it all done.

We're a life in motion.

A life where there are real hurdles, real bumps, real moments where we want to just throw our hands in the air and say enough. Or maybe at least ask for a fifty second pause. A mom time out, perhaps?

But, do you want to know truth?

You really do get it all done.

You get done what you can do and you get up in the morning and you keep going in a world where the list will never ever end. That's the thing about motherhood and life - the list is like this never ending ladder of things to constantly keep doing. You think you made it to the top rung and then there's always just one more thing you could be doing. One more after one more after one more.

Do you know that right now even if you feel like you're flailing just trying to keep your head above water because you have that eight week colicky baby and a three year old and you're house isn't perfectly put back together that you're getting it all done.

Do you know that when you drop off the little one at daycare who cries when you leave and you back out of the driveway and spill just a bit of that fabulous Starbucks coffee on your clean shirt and you answer emails and think about what you're going to make for dinner that you're getting it all done?

Do you know that when you sit outside a bedroom door and talk with your teen about really hard stuff and love of them in the midst and stay up late and forget about folding the towels on the floor but instead just sit and listen that you are getting it all done?

You are mothering.

It's not about a never ending nebulous to-do list of things.

It's about being real. Being a mother. Putting one foot in front of the other and marching forward even though sometimes it feels like you're simply treading water.

You are getting up. You are making breakfast for your family. Taking care of them. Working or staying at home or working at home. Cleaning up. Doing laundry. Giving kisses and hugs when needed. Crying in the bathroom when you're overwhelmed and then splashing water on your face. Buttering sandwiches. Making beds (maybe). Matching socks. Looking littles in the eye and telling them you're the best. Trying to figure out Halloween costumes the night before (that's me today). Giving hugs. Sharing your sandwich. Budgeting in a world where you wish you could just have a budget. Picking up the same toy again and again. Feeding babies. You're moving.

You are moving.

Motherhood is a to-do list in constant motion.

Getting it all done doesn't mean having a list at the end of the day with every single thing checked off. Getting it all done means doing exactly what you've been doing since the day you became blessed to be a mother. It means making mistakes and yet trying again. It means fighting for your family. It means smiling with tears in your eyes. It's reading books over and over again. It's being okay with rerunnig the wash cycle because you forgot to move it. It's in learning to give yourself grace and the mothers all around you grace.

It's looking at the ambiguous never ending ladder of things that we think we should could forgot to need to be doing and saying - I am enough.

I am enough when I love my kids. When I fight for them. When I do my normal every day things that often feel like they don't mean much but in the scheme of life are the moments that will matter. I am enough even when I make mistakes and try again. I am enough when my life isn't perfect. I am enough when we have the same dinner again and again. I am enough even when I feel so often like I'm out of breath. I am enough when I am running late. I am enough when I stay up late sitting on the floor in my toddlers room because he won't go to sleep. I am enough.

Enough.

Moms get it all done every single day.

One thing. One hug. One smile. One more pulling up of the boot straps. One more fight for right. One more reminder of grace. One more not comparing my life to the mom next doors life and using that to judge getting it all done. One more listening to the same knock knock joke and chuckling again moment in life. One more moment simply being a mom.

So if you're asked how you get it all done every single day you can answer that's just what moms do.

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do one thing days. or also known as the day when the to-do list threatens to takes over.

Which would be today.

My to-do list now has categories, subsections, pages, highlights, urgents, a long running to do within the week area, and extra notes. Laundry was at the top, but I quickly bumped that and put family. I'd love to squish laundry at the bottom, but due to the lack of socks and underwear around here laundry will get one of the coveted upper slots. I feel a folding party in the future.

And now, because I live what I write, today my post will only consist of this short mention of the ridiculous to-do list, a cheer for all of you and all of your to-do lists, the words that you can totally do today and a reminder that what you do matters, and me looking at the list in front of me, doing one thing and doing it well, me pausing for just a bit so that I don't miss the beauty of fall outside my window, and the decision to live seeking joy. Even with the massive to-do list.

Here's to all you do - the cleaning, list writing, laundry folding, kitchen cleaning, dishes drying, potatoes chopping, cereal pouring, diaper changing, vacuuming again and again, window washing, book reading, phone calling, email responding, nap time tucking, toy picking up, smiling in the midst of the crazy super full to-do list days of motherhood. I'm right there with you.

One thing. Do one thing.

That's my motto.

Starting with them.

to read about my to-do list strategy read starting at the top.
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