little girl grown up

She sits next to me in the car, touching the screen on her ipod, her hair pulled back into a bun. I glance at her, and watch her as she gets out to teach a ballet class, and my heart wells with pride.

She's growing up. The little girl who would sit in my arms begging for me to read her a story now is now just a shadow. A memory.

Today is that sweet little one grown up's 14th birthday.

It was 14 years ago today, at 11:59 pm that Chloe Laurella was born. Right as a day was ending, just on time, and early for the next day. Her birth was balm for my soul, for my family. She was born seven days after my grandmother, Laurella, died. And Chloe, she was hope and healing for us all.

Now, she's grown. Beautiful.

Motherhood is so bittersweet. In one moment they're tiny, little babes and the next almost grown. Let my eyes be awake, be aware, for all the moments, the glorious in the everyday.

Happy 14th Birthday Chloe Laurella. You are loved. So loved.

we've been waiting.

This is my Grace.

She loves Jesus with all of her heart.

On Sunday, she danced for Him.

Tears are falling, hearts are breaking
How we need to hear from God

You've been promised, we've been waiting

Welcome Holy Child.
Welcome Holy Child.

That's the stuff that matters.
Not the presents.

Just Jesus.
Only Jesus.

{lyrics quoted are from Welcome to Our World by Chris Rice}

take a moment, relax, and smile.

I thought this picture would help -- I mean, look at that cute face. :)

We're off to The Nutcracker Ballet today -- Chloe and Gracie are dancing in it {due to Hannah's surgery she is unable to} and the rest of my day is spent putting curls in, applying makeup, and clapping proudly. It's a bittersweet day, in a way, as I'm excited to watch my two girls dancing, and in the same breath I'm sad that Hannah is unable to dance. However, in the midst of it, Hannah has demonstrated grace -- she helps her sisters get ready, listens to their stories, and hasn't complained. Her heart is beautiful.

Off to get them ready. And remember to smile. :)

How about you? What is on today's schedule?

the last time

do you ever think about those last times?
like the last time you tied your little one's shoes?
or read a story to them at night?
or carried them up to bed?

those last times.
sometimes i'm glad that i don't know that i'm experiencing a last time.
then i can just look back and remember.
the last time.

then there are those last times
that you feel coming
slowly, slowly, slowly,
and then they pick up momentum
racing into your life
and there's no stopping
it's coming
the last time.

like the last bun
soon the day will come
and i will do the last bun
on my little ballerina gracie's head.

it's just a bun
you could say
and yet
it will be a last time

a further step
watching her grow into the young lady
Christ designed her to be.

the last time.
i'm feeling nostalgic
and grateful
and thankful
for every single time
my hands get to put her beautiful
hair into a ballet bun.

soon
very soon
it will be the last time.

meet my ballerina

 
My ten year old ballerina Gracie.

And her one month new pointe shoes.

Pointe class is the highlight of ballet for her.

Love.

my little gracie...

...is growing up
into a beautiful ballerina.
And on monday, she just got her first pair of pointe shoes.

It's a beautiful achievement for an even more beautiful girl.
I am so proud of her.

*****
A little sweet Samuel update: he seems to be gradually improving. We're doing the neb treatments every 4hours and that appears to be helping him clear those lungs. We go back to the doctor today. Thank you so much for praying for my Samuel.

quick thoughts for the day

A short and sweet post.

Today is the big - we've been preparing for it since January - ballet recital for my daughters -- Hannah, Chloe and Grace.  It's a glorious day of celebration and artistry and joyfulness. I'd love your prayers for them -- that their day is a reflection of their hard work and dedication. And that it is fun -- lots of fun. :)

{Gracie prepping her hair -- love her concentration}

I'd also love your prayers for myself as I'm the photographer for the event.  I took photos last week for the dress rehearsal {and they turned out beautiful} -- and now today, I'll be taking them throughout the day -- backstage, on stage rehearsal and more. Pray for great functioning equipment, a good eye, great lighting, and that I, too, have fun. Lots of fun. :)

*********

And on a completely different note.

As you might remember I got to take part in this Blogher and Gatorade event {the one with the $100 giftcard giveaway}.  I've been looking {I know, I know, I know -- kind of silly} to see my promo in the Blogher sidebar ad.  It probably says, "see how Rachel, from finding joy, helps her athletes Become."  Anyways, I know it's out there -- I've gotten hits from various blogs that have the running sidebar.  I just haven't seen it myself.

Here's my silly question. If you come across the ad on another blog, would you screencap it and save it for me? hee hee hee....I feel like I'm about ten again wanting to see my artwork.  :)

*********

That's it for this Saturday morning!  I'm off to put Gracie's hair into the perfect ballet bun, check that the camera batteries are fully charged, pull out those energy bars, and get ready for a whirlwind day of activity!

~rachel

its another day of (friday) favorite things

On Monday I wrote Another Day, Another Day, Another Day

 -- and here we are already on to Friday -- Another day.

 It feels as if I just wrote those words about time and movement. 

I want to remember.

To be aware.

To be grateful.

I'm doing my Friday Favorites list again. For me, it's this wonderful way of remembering the week and finding the beautiful and joyful moments that occurred.  Next week I'm going to add a link-up for the friday favorites -- I've gotten some sweet emails asking if it could be made a link up or regular thread. I'll remind you throughout the week, and I'm hoping you'll join in.

I love it.

We're all looking.

Finding joy.

********
playing piano with Samuel on my lap

{playing from The Lord of the Rings book}

more good days than bad days for Samuel

did you read that? more good -- Praise God our healer!

croup that is subsiding

sharing my heart with wonderful women on Monday

praying with those women

these colorful wool dryer balls

(which is my give-away - which will be posted tomorrow)

{curious? want to try them? I'm giving some away tomorrow}

clean laundry

heat that works

steel wool

Brennan's lego creation

{his creation for an upcoming lego contest}

Brennan's heart

listening to Brennan read to his brothers

melting snow

(even though I wish it would melt faster)

brown grass peeking out of the white snow

my wood highchair

{do you love the pepper remnants and the hulk glove underneath?}

horizon math books

that God's mercies are new every morning

gluten free cookies

new pointe shoes 

the road to ballet -- in all seasons

red votive candles

{thanks, Amy for these votives}

normal days

the wii

health and healing

praying with my children

hearing my childrens' prayers

my blue scarf made by my mother

{love love love the blue}

of course, my wonderful mom

quiet moments in the early morning

quiet moments in early morning with coffee

quiet moments in early morning with coffee and my Bible

my Scentsy holder

Gracie

{who can't love that face?}

the book - Streams in the Desert

tv remotes

magnets scattered on my fridge

{see the -never never never give up- magnet? I got that during Todd's cancer treatments}

Bible verses on my fridge

Truth

and

that it is finally March

and March means Spring.

{maybe}

these are a few of my (friday) favorite things

friday mornings

48 degree days in the middle of February

love this pic by hannah?  she's got more

warm cup of coffee in hand

little ones reading on the old plaid couch 

Udi's Gluten free bread

daughters in ballet

hannah (left) & chloe (right)

recycling and garbage day

seed catalogs arriving in the mail in the middle of winter

Lowe's $5 "oops" paints

diced potatoes with dill for dinner

(reminds me of summer)

GI Doctors who call "just to check" up on Samuel 

Trader Joes

Pathway Readers and Workbooks

markers with caps on

(can you believe it?  the caps are ALMOST all on.)

laundry that is completed

good friends

first grilled chicken of the spring

a family that loves each other

one month since Samuel's first hospitalization

sweet Samuel one month ago -- love those cell phone pics

facebook

old couches for memories

dish soap

unique pronunciations by a three year old named Elijah

remember that he calls pbj sandwiches pGjs :)

those days of lower gas prices

fuzzy slippers

taking down Christmas lights on a warm winter day

birthday memories

big windows for staring outside

love my window by my old couch

blogging about normal

picked up legos 

new hope

an amazing church and church family

thinking about vacations when it's cold outside

annual trip to woodland last year (when it was warm)

a good broom

time to play games

the website celiac.com

sippy cups that don't leak at all

and

laughter

yes, absolutely, laughter

laugh, Chloe, laugh

the rat king will be no more

After 3months of driving to ballet almost 6times a week the day has arrived.

Finally.

The Nutcracker performance is today.

I've joked how I'm exhausted -- but it's my daughters -- Hannah, Chloe, and Grace, that are the real exhausted ones.  Well, exhausted and running on adrenaline.  Sheer adrenaline.

Pictures will be coming.  Until then -- think of us -- and especially my ballet beauties. Would you pray that they are healthy and have stamina?  And that they enjoy the fruits of their labor? They worked hard. Very, very hard.  I am extremely proud of them.

Here's a teaser pic -- from last year. :)  Now I'm off to put buns in, pull out rag-rollers, and apply some make up.  Here we go!

Hannah

Curious where my girls dance? We love our classical ballet studio -- North Ballet.  Here's a little teaser video. If you look really closely you might find my daughters. :) In fact there's a scene with just pointe shoes, and a back being adjusted, and a dancer turning -- that's my Hannah. Enjoy!

got any nuts??

as my free time (what there is) has been spent making this -

ahhh...the mask...

Hannah, Chloe and Grace are in a production of the Nutcracker Ballet next week.  Their company needed a nutcracker mask, and I volunteered (I'm still wondering what on earth compelled me to sign up for that part!).  Let me tell you -- making a mask of this size is no easy task.  I had three trial run masks before this one and ended up wanting to make one more after this one.  My family emphatically told me no.  I listened. :)

Chloe outside before modeling the mask
(photo courtesy of my Hannah)

Here are the details -- read with caution. :)  Paper Mache mask - three layers.  Base is made from molded plastic (from a cut up milk carton).  Nose is plastic.  Face is built up with foam and covered in plastic before the paper mache was applied. I painted it with acrylic paints.  Beard and hair is faux fur from Joann's.  That part is very messy -- I vacuumed numerous times and in fact, vacuumed the head to pick up the free hair.  (It still looks like we have a dog with black hair here.) Crown is layers of gold poster board painted with acrylics.  And the red part was a hat that was existing that I attached.  That part still needs a teeny bit of work....  The mask attaches via an elastic band and then the crown/hair attaches over latching with screws and then being tied under the chin.  Ignore the imperfections in the mask -- you need to remember that this will be on stage and no one will see it up close.

Chloe modeling the mask.
She is the Nutcracker next week. :)

************

Have you discovered that I might be a wee bit of a perfectionist?  And now you know why I write on not being too much that way....

Want to know how many hours this took?

12 hours.

Want to know how much it cost?

$32

Want to know the song I belted out when I was finished?
That would be the Hallelujah Chorus. :)

Now I need to start making cookies....without nuts...

(feel free to leave any "way to go" and "you did great" or "you're nuts" comments....hee hee hee...sometimes I crack myself up...)

not by sight

Last night I had one of those WAKE UP moments.  You know, those times in life that diverge from the norm?  Maybe it's as extreme as a tragedy or as minor as a near accident -- it's those moments where you get snapped from the normalcy of everyday and can see life from a different perspective.

part of the road to ballet on a normal day

My moment came when I drove my second daughter, Chloe, home from ballet.  Normally, this would be a minor deal.  We'd drive over a bridge, and over some hills, while we joked about life or talked about ballet or sat in silence.  But last night was different.  It was snowing.  Very, very hard.  So hard, in fact, that the back roads -- from the infamous "road to ballet" -- were not plowed.  At all.  And this is a hilly, back-country road that I take.

I couldn't see.

I could hear the nervousness in Chloe's voice when she told me she couldn't see the road.  I calmly told her that I saw it -- even though I didn't at all.  I had to stop. In the middle of the road and clean my wipers -- the snow was falling faster than even those little wipers could keep up with.  But, then right after I cleaned them,  I had to keep going.  I had NO choice. Deep down, I knew the road.  I knew it was there -- I'd driven it almost every day for 18 months.  I couldn't see it.  But, I had faith.

Isn't that like life?

We're on these roads and at times we can't see the road.  We ask the Lord, "where's the path?  Could you just show us the way?  Guide us?  Give us some direction?" And yet, we are as blind to the path as I was last night.  Yet, we keep moving.  Last night, it was simply faith that I knew the road.  But, in life, it's faith that our loving Father knows the road before us.  So we move. By faith.

the road uncovered

And sometimes, it's scary.  Or hard.  Or the path seems clouded.  Yet we keep moving, keep trusting, keep believing.  We might have to stop to clean our wiper blades -- refresh our view -- but truly, we keep moving knowing that we have a Father who loves us and care for us, and ultimately knows the road underneath all that snow.

"For we live by faith, not by sight"  2 Corinthians 5:7

************

On another note, I'm wanted to share with you that I'm  now a contributing writer for  5 Minutes For Faith.  I was honored to be asked to join their team, and have already been blessed working with them.  I'm sharing with you a link to an article I wrote titled -- Missing Pieces -- and no, it's not really about puzzle pieces, but more about pieces that we cling to and try to make sense of -- when we really should let them go. And, really it should only take you about 5 minutes to read it.  Get it?  5 minutes?  and 5 Minutes For Faith?  (okay. Now i'm just silly.  It's waaaay to early for me.)

I'd love for you to check it out -- and when you pop over there, would you leave me a comment?  (Click on my link the title Missing Pieces -- their link is broken)  I'd appreciate it -- as I'm the newbie. :)  But, don't leave without commenting here okay, okay, okay you DON'T have to.  I just like hearing from you so I thought I'd try the direct approach. Ha ha ha! -- I am, however,  SO blessed by your comments and notes of encouragement.  Thank you for taking your time and leaving them.

Blessings!