the distracted mom learns to listen

That's nice.

I mumble quick words to my eight year old, my Brennan, who had come to tell me one of his amazing stories. Again. His eyes, full of excitement, shot a questioning look at mine.

You're not really listening.

Oh, I am, it's neat.

But, I'm not. I'm in my own world of agendas, doing the next things, and reading those endless supply of emails. So I didn't really listen. I did the half-kind of listen, the nod your head, and simply say sure and that's great at the end.

And Brennan wasn't buying it. He wanted the full listen. Where I close my little netbook - the email can wait - and I look at him and listen. Not forced, but rather a mom eager to hear about this story that he's been creating. The kind of listen that he deserves.

But, it's hard for me. The distracted mom.

I'm stuck in such a cycle of moving forward and trying to keep everything balanced that stopping my initial agenda requires an intentional effort to refocus my focus. I could move on autodrive all day long racing from thing to thing to thing and brush aside the stories, creations, and simple play times.

I shut the lid.

Tell me about this story, Brennan.

And I try to listen. When the thoughts of work, or the pile of dishes, or the spelling words he should be working on creep in, I remind myself -- resolute -- and I once again redirect my thoughts to Brennan's story. I listened. Hard. Then he was done.

Thanks, mom.

He picked up his pencil and started writing his spelling words. His heart was full. The distracted mom was a focused mom and listened. She really really listened.

How I respond now has impact. If he, at eight, sees that I don't really want to hear his words, then what will happen when he's 13? I want him to know, I want my other children to know, that when they come to me that  I want to listen, I will pay attention, and I care about them and their hearts. That faith in who I am as a mom is cultivated now. So I must close the netbook, put aside the agenda, and give of my time for just a bit.

The listening mom.

So much better than the distracted mom.

It's baby steps.

Look for the moments. The little things.

You can do it.

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preparing for the week. priorities.

I love Sunday.

It's like a mini version of the New Year -- you've got the week spread in front of you. A clean slate, with days to fill, and things to do.

Except this Sunday. I'm looking at my week and it's already booked solid. Appointments, deadlines, and important things to figure out. Today, instead of the usual anticipation, I'm feeling a bit of overwhelm even before the week starts.

Break it down. Prioritize.

On my schedule all I see are the to-do's, not the blank spaces. I can guarantee that there are more hours spent doing the normal routine, the schedule, versus the many items to do. So I start to break down my days. Wisely. I schedule writing time in the early morning or late at night. I also give myself a lovely Monday morning to write while I wait for Chloe to finish teaching ballet. I'll plan my meals -- at least give myself an idea of what we'll be eating over the course of the week. I'll spend about an hour today organizing our academics -- filing, printing, and scheduling. And I'll update a master calendar with all the to-do items.

And prayer. Sometimes it's all too easy to overlook the value of dedicating one's week to the Lord. It's easy to just get up, look at the schedule and attempt to fly through the week on your own strength -- and then, at least for me, I'm normally exhausted by Monday morning. So this year, as part of being resolute, I'm taking some minutes to pray about my week before it happens.

The week will happen. And I know there will be wrinkles added {look at my last week Friday}, but that is okay. I will continue to press on, to be aware, and to use my time wisely.

Take five minutes. Grab your planner. Look at your week.

First priority?

Dedicate your week to the Lord.

stuff does not create happiness

I am not a stuff person by nature. I'm a like the counters empty, and the cupboards organized, and the toys totally sorted, and there's extra space in that drawer type person. But, now, I'm feeling choked by too much stuff.

Stuff. I don't even really like that word. Stuff.

I've been mulling over the issue with stuff. Of course, we are inundated with the idea that we need to continue feeding our insatiable need for the purchasing of more things. Every single item in that Target cart will have to find a place in one's home. I could go through and purge every room to help alleviate the stuff. Which, of course, I need to do. But, I think the issue with stuff is deeper.

It involves not allowing happiness to be defined by the amount of things that fill one's home, or cart, or bookshelves, or garage. In fact, all those items, I believe, pull away from one's happiness. The excess stuff creates anxiety, discontent, and lack of peace.

Why do I like the clean counters? My eyes can rest there. It's calm and order in the midst of a busy and active life.

But, then, how does one move from the irritation of too much stuff to the discipline of managing and letting go of stuff? It's trust -- having faith that one doesn't need all of those potentially needed things to be content. The idea that stuff and things creates contentment is a double-edged sword. Initially? There's the happiness. Then it moves to management. Then irritation. Then the overwhelming feeling of living with too much stuff.

It clutters the mind.

So here I sit. In my home that's flirting with too much stuff. I need a system, a routine, a plan. First- Prepping my heart to let it go and recognizing how excess can create chaos. Second - An intentional effort to remove items from my home and not allow emotions to dictate whether it stays. Third - An even more intentional effort to not bring more into my home. Fourth - The establishment of systems to maintain a level of order. Fifth - Start over again with step one.

Too much stuff -- meet my word -- resolute. I'm determined to root you out.

Less is more.

Less stuff lets me spend more time with the real important.

What are your strategies for dealing with stuff?

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recharge

I've been racing around for these past few weeks, for the past couple of months, spinning in circles of busy.

There is something beautiful in stillness and quiet. I remember once hearing about this retreat center where you aren't allowed to speak. At all. Ever. The entire time. {Yes, that concept took a bit to sink in.} For a while I questioned whether I would really enjoy that -- no talking? I'm all about fellowship -- but, then again, as the years creep by I've begun to realize the importance of taking bouts of silence. Sometimes in the stillness clarity can be regained and creativity blessed.

So for this weekend I will be silent.  Well, I'm going to talk, but I'm going to take the weekend off from writing -- beyond this post -- and none for Sunday. I'm just going to let the blog sit here. Rest.

In that writing silence I am praying for some moments to recharge. To refocus, to rest, and to reflect. And, oh my, to laugh and enjoy that fabulous family that the Lord has blessed me with.

May your weekend also be blessed, full of peace, and unexpected joy.

Rachel

words from the weekend for monday

Resolute. It's fascinating to me how much a word can shape how one thinks. I've only focused on the idea of being resolute for a day and already I can feel this shift in thinking -- it's in those moments where I want to say it will never change or does it really matter or in a minute that I remember that I am striving to be resolute in heart and mind. I'm working on changing those thoughts to hope for the future and it matters and right now. 

Wind. I know for the last weeks I've been lamenting to you all about how we, up here in Minnesota, have absolutely no snow. Well, on New Year's Eve that shifted. We had a winter storm {I think it earned that classification due to the initial rain that froze and changed to snow} and we woke up on January 1 to a winter wonderland. A very cold winter wonderland. Yesterday we were experiencing wind gust upwards of 40 mph. With temps below freezing. And that equals cold. Why, oh why, was I ever complaining about 40 degree temps? Samuel? He thought the snow was beautiful.

Wonder. My baby sister gave Samuel this fishtank night light { in the pictures} that he absolutely loves. He'll stand in his room watching those little faux fish swim on by for long chunks of toddler time. It's actually very sweet -- he still has such a spirit of wonder about him. Innocent. Enthralled by the simplest things. I love that about him, about childhood -- which makes me very determined to embrace these years with my children. I'll remind myself -- Be aware, be awake -- so that the joy in now can be remembered.

Goals. This year, I'm aiming for simple, reasonable, and fewer goals. I tend to be one of those planner type people that decides that this time we're changing all of this at once. Then I burn out. For the kids and myself I'm choosing a couple things -- one behavior that I want to see changed and one good habit that I want to adopt. I'm just going to keep working on those goals consistently -- two at a time, not burning out, and focusing on good.

Routine. I am simply excited about the routine of January. I know, I know, I write about my flexible schedule and all, but even I love the anticipated normalcy that January can bring. Why anticipated? Last January was when Samuel was diagnosed with Celiac Disease and my craving for routine was automatically stopped as I moved from routine to complete survival mode. But, for now, I will be looking forward to spending some intentional time with my children on academics and normal every day things. Besides, with the above mentioned below-zero windchills we probably won't be outside too much. ;)

Busy. That's the rest of today. Off to put away all those decorations, plan for January, organize my school supplies, get some groceries, and search for dryers {yes, I said dryers...mine broke...sigh...not good...}. If it wasn't this ridiculously cold I would just hang those clothes outside. Now, ha ha ha, they'd freeze in an instant. Recommendations?

Carissa. I'm linking with my sweet friend today.

resolute

That's my word.

For 2012.

I've been mulling
over words
and directions
and what
and where
I feel the Lord is calling me this year.

In that thinking
I came to the realization
that there are things I need
to let go of
and not let define me
for the future.

I also recognized the need
for courage
and purpose
and boldness
and being strong
and steadfast
and being tenacious
and persevering
and being true.

And that,
that
is being
resolute.

So this year
I want to live
with a resolute heart
to live for Jesus
to love my children more
to love my husband more
to spend my time wisely
to embrace the day
to be aware, awake
to do the real important
to believe in the future
to embrace the smallest things
to live life
intentionally.

And that
will be with  a
resolute heart
seeking
and
finding joy.

Do you have a word to define your year?
If so, please do share.

All the synonyms used for resolute were pulled from thesaurus.com