rest is needed. family matters. most.

taken by my daughter Hannah - first night's sunset

I've been pretty silent in the online social media blog world. Intentionally. We left on Saturday morning for our annual trip to the lake - I've been coming since I was a child - and this week is truly a week celebrating family, embracing rest, and taking a step back out of the busy frenzy of life.

The resort we go to is like a snippet back in time. Simply, no frills, and yet beautifully located, full of memories, and completely restful.

taken last year

It's hard to sit in front of a computer when out of my window is beauty.

So I've chosen to take some time off. Especially after the frenzy in which it took for me to get our family of nine packed. Let's just say I might have been up till 2 in the morning and then up again at 5:30 trying to get everything done. And I still forgot things - thankfully I can purchase those things {like coffee} up here. I didn't forget my Keurig though - just the coffee. :)

I've already been playing in the water with the kids, fishing, on boat rides, playing games, learning to play the game Kubb {any of you played it?}, talking walks, and just being still and laughing with my family.

instagram of Hannah playing Kubb
find me on instagram  - finding_joy

Now, today, it's 7am, and the sun is shining and this is my view.

an instagram morning pic

I'm getting offline. I hear Samuel waking up and he's chattering away about being at Woodland.

Joy.


******

Interested in reading an article on how I homeschool multiple ages? I was blessed to guest post at Home Educating Family last week -- here's the link  -- Six Tips for Homeschooling Multiple Ages
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linking with Carissa, who totally knows my heart about Woodland and why this trip is so meaningful to me. She's a kindred spirit and a dear friend.

there's no guilt in rest

I'm sorry, I just have to sit here for 10 minutes and close my eyes. 

I'm talking to you today.  You, the mom, who apologizes for needing to sit for just a minute and rest. You, the mom like me, that whispers those words about rest and being sorry to need it.

You the mom that has lost the grace of giving yourself rest. Now, I've written about rest and cultivating rest and the need to rest and being intentional in rest, but I'm not writing about that today. Today, I'm writing about giving yourself grace in your day and being willing to embrace the need to rest.

Here's why:

You get up at dawn - or before that. You start moving from the second you're up, only pausing for the Keurig coffee maker to get that coffee brewed. There's no creamer, but you keep going. You pour bowls of cereal, wipe messes, clean spills, all while unloading the dishwasher. You stop a fight over who gets to read the back of the cereal box. Again. You continue unloading the dishwasher, realize the laundry needs to get moved from the washer to dryer. Race to fix that, trip over a toy on the stairs, and clean up the landing. The phone rings, then the inbox on email screams that it's got over 485 new messages all that should have been answered yesterday. The littles finish breakfast. Up the stairs to find clothes for them and you're greeted with a room where your four year old, bless his heart, tried to find his shorts which always are in the bottom drawer but her forgot, and now the entire dresser is spread out over the floor. Underneath all those clothes are the three boxes of toys that were dumped out but you ran out of time sorting last night. At that moment, an older child wanders in, asks if you can drive them to this place or what the schedule is for Friday and what the plans are for the day. Someone yells that there's no toliet paper left in the house. Down the stairs, back to the kitchen with it's partially unloaded dishes and empty cereal bowls on the counter. It's now eight o'clock. In the morning. And the to-do list from yesterday still sits unfinished on the counter.

The day moves like that, right? You're busy - maybe deep down, you're exhausted. I know I am most days. But, I keep going, keep pushing, keep working, keep driving - even though I just need to learn to sit still. Sure we talk about cultivating simplicity, and the need to rest, and we read and pin pictures of restful spots on our boards - but do we really rest?

Do we give ourselves grace to sit still and drink that coffee that brewed in the morning and read a book? Or take a nap? Or chat with friends? Or forget the agenda and read books with the littles in the morning?

Or is it met with guilt?

I should be cleaning the kitchen. There's more laundry to fold. Those toys need to be cleaned up. When will I get the weeding done. I shouldn't be sitting right now.

A mother who doesn't give herself grace, and grace to rest, will soon become burnt out. Bitter. You know how it is - all those things that we have to do will begin to be the things that we grumble about. Complain. Resent. Because we're exhausted, my friends! Exhausted. Wilted under the never ending to-do list. Then we utter apologizes for filling our tank, resting, reading, taking a nap - like we are less of a mom, a woman, a wife - when we need to rest.

I'm not talking about being lazy. I'm talking about talking about being okay with recognizing that it is good to be still for a bit during the day. To nap {gasp} for a bit while the littles nap. To read that book without worrying that you should be folding the laundry that second. To take a walk with your family and not care that the kitchen isn't perfectly tidied up.

We all have a finish line in this life. I want to live my life, running the race, but being intentional. Filling my tank, my reserves along the way, and not feeling guilt about being, well, human. Real. The to-do list will honestly never ever get done. You know that - there will always be another list of urgent things to accomplish. Taking a rest, breathing for a bit, it won't change the outcome of the list.

But more than likely, taking a rest and giving yourself grace in resting will change your perspective.

It's ten minutes. Thirty minutes. An hour. In an entire day.

Mothers, there is no guilt in rest. None.

It's needed.

Grace, my friends, grace.

****

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cultivating breathing space - rest

{part of the intentional parenting series}

My planner is beyond full. Running here, running there, ballet, taekwondo, writing, reviews, cooking, cleaning, laundry {you really don't want to see my laundry room right now}, speaking engagements, homeschooling, being a mom, and so much more.

It, at times, is exhausting.

Life races by. Faster, faster, and faster. Do this, do that, do more.

There's not much room to breathe.

Then it hits me. They're watching me. My children - Hannah, Chloe, Grace, Brennan, Caleb, Elijah, and Samuel - they're all watching me race through life.

The out of breath mom.

Even Caleb will come up to me, and in his sweet six year old way he'll tell me rest momma rest. He sees the busy, he sees the choices, he sees me the busy out of breath mom.

Enter Mother's Day.

They, all of those wonderful children, want me to sit still, to rest, to enjoy, to be happy, to be joyful. They didn't see my overworked to-do list or my ridiculously full inbox or those piles of laundry. They loved me and they wanted me to slow down. They didn't care that we moms give ourselves these pats on our own backs for being busy and getting our list almost finished. They didn't care that I'll be behind in my mind. They wanted me to be rest in their celebration of motherhood.

That meant creating and embracing breathing space in a busy life.

It meant being willing to let go of the entire oversaturated scheduled life and instead meant truly resting - if just for a bit. There isn't an award for the busiest mom or the one with the fullest color coded schedule or the one who doesn't need to rest. Racing through life simply teaches our children to race through life.

We must cultivate intentional breathing space.

Otherwise we will create another generation of stressed overworked individuals. Rest is a gift - and we can bless our children with seeing us, the moms, actually rest.

So on Mother's Day, I rested. I played games, sat and talked with my parents, and spent an hour in my dad's garden with him planting tomatoes and peppers. There was no agenda during that time - it was him and I - enjoying each other's company, working together, and it was lovely. Restful.

Keep working. Keep your schedule. But, know that it's okay to rest.

Cultivate breathing space within your life, mothers. Do not allow guilt, schedules, routine, agendas, culture, and more to suffocate out moments of rest and quiet. Our children, our husbands, our families will be blessed if we allow ourselves the grace to be still, to create, and to breathe.

It is good, it is intentional, it cultivates joy when we allow space to be still.

*****

Several weeks ago I ran a series titled 10 Days of Intentional Parenting. This post is part of the continuation of that series. For those of who you followed that you'll remember that I included several questions at the end and a journal page. Today, for this post on breathing space, here are several questions for you to ponder.

1} Do you rest? If so where and when?
2} How can you cultivate rest, breathing space into your family's life?
3} Take some time today, with your children, and simply rest. Play games, read books, but be intentional to let the schedule be still.

What are your thoughts on rest? Are you intentional about it?

*****

Also, tonight, I'm so excited to share my heart in front of a local homeschool group. I'm talking about finishing the year well - so if you'd think of me later today I'd love some prayers.

Blessings on your Monday - and let it be a Monday filled with a list to do and many things accomplished but also sweet moments of intentionality with your children and times of rest.

Linking my thoughts on rest with my sweet friend Carissa.

learning to rest

I am a person, who by nature, likes to work. I'll find tasks to keep me busy -- sorting, re-organizing, cleaning, yard-work, and more -- just so that I can be busy. Sometimes, especially when I'm home, it's hard for me to sit still and not work.

I just see things that need, or potentially need, to get done.

So I stuff myself with busy projects and feel guilty for not working.

But, I'm starting to realize that working constantly produces well, more work. As we all know, the work is never ever done. There will always be one more drawer to clean out, or clothes to fold, or cabinet to clean. There is value in sitting still, in being creative, and in <gasp> not working for a moment.

I see the need for my children to have this free time. Again, it's too easy for me to assign just one more math page, or read another chapter book, or let's do one more science when they've finished their list. After all, my mind reasons, it's only 1pm and we've got more time. But, no. I stop {well, most of the time -- there are exceptions}. They had a list of things to accomplish and they finished the list. I absolutely must teach them to understand that the list completed is exactly that -- completed. If I keep adding on work as extra then pretty soon the list is meaningless.

So, my friends, a completed list is a completed list. And, often in our house, they learn more once the list is completed. They are free to explore, to create, to make messes {which keep me busy with work}, to help out, to listen in on other lessons, but they are free because they did their work well.

I want them to understand the importance of rest.

While I bless them with this freedom I've also been learning how to embrace it myself. It's about goals and achieving of goals. It's about learning to be okay with putting your feet up for a bit. Life feels like a race at times. But, you see, in order to finish it there needs to be times to recharge.

I'm learning to rest. To say no to all the obligations. To watch my children. And to say yes when they ask me to play that game with them.

The work will always be there. Always. The time won't.

Work hard, but make sure to rest. It's okay. In fact, it's good.

recharge

I've been racing around for these past few weeks, for the past couple of months, spinning in circles of busy.

There is something beautiful in stillness and quiet. I remember once hearing about this retreat center where you aren't allowed to speak. At all. Ever. The entire time. {Yes, that concept took a bit to sink in.} For a while I questioned whether I would really enjoy that -- no talking? I'm all about fellowship -- but, then again, as the years creep by I've begun to realize the importance of taking bouts of silence. Sometimes in the stillness clarity can be regained and creativity blessed.

So for this weekend I will be silent.  Well, I'm going to talk, but I'm going to take the weekend off from writing -- beyond this post -- and none for Sunday. I'm just going to let the blog sit here. Rest.

In that writing silence I am praying for some moments to recharge. To refocus, to rest, and to reflect. And, oh my, to laugh and enjoy that fabulous family that the Lord has blessed me with.

May your weekend also be blessed, full of peace, and unexpected joy.

Rachel

a day of rest

It's Sunday.

 {my dad's grapes. to read a beautiful post about it read Hanni's blog post titled my boppy's vineyard}

A day of rest.

Needed rest.

This afternoon we'll be going to my parents. We'll be picking apples and tomatoes and wandering around my parents yard.  Going through my dad's grapes and hoping to pick one that's ripe and not too sour. No huge plans. Just family. Working together.

And laughing together.

Take those moments, those beautiful moments of family time and run with them. When I look at the years of marriage that I've been blessed to have I realize just how important family is to us. Family wins. That's a family motto we have -- family first. Always.

{my mother working in the kitchen. love her}

And that means today, I'll be resting. Enjoying helping my mother in the kitchen, and walking the backyard with my dad, and playing cards with my siblings, and playing the piano with my sister, and watching my children play in the yard and sit at the table of my childhood.

Enjoying the simple and beautiful and everyday moments in this life that the Lord has blessed me with. So grateful for Sunday. And family.

Enjoy your Sunday. And try to rest.

doing nothing days

I''m writing this late on Saturday sitting in my yard. Actually, I'm resting in the grass. Almost four year old Elijah thinks it's funny that I'm on my back looking at the sky. That grass? It's lush and green and glorious. Totally summer.

Summer in Minnesota is this brief window of time -- maybe six weeks of wonderful heat at the most before the winds shift and the leaves turn their beautiful and brilliant shades of crimson and gold. We've learned, through the years, to embrace these days. And sometimes, just sometimes, you need to have a day where you do almost nothing. It's a swing on a swing and dream about life type of day.

Yeah, I started a load of laundry. And took the girls to volunteer at a local festival for church. But, really, there was nothing on the agenda. In fact, as dinner rolled around, my tweet was this -- is it okay to get ice cream for dinner? Which we didn't have, but instead enjoyed some gluten free pancakes. An easy, no work, and totally favorite meal. Freedom.

I know that the weeks to come will be full of schedules. Ballet. School. Soccer. The fall routine. And possibly surgery on my shoulder. Maybe that's why I just needed to do almost nothing. It really was a do nothing day.

I couldn't do this everyday. I like busy. But, sometimes I just let that crazy frantic part of me rest.

Off to get icecream for dessert.

I'm thinking a root beer float would be a perfect ending to that pancake dinner.

what's your favorite thing to do on a do nothing day?
and, no, I didn't get my root beer float -- but, i did have mint chip ice cream. Delicious.

plans to give you hope and a future

I don't like sitting still.
I like to move and do things.

Clean.
Garden.
Organize (really).
Plan.
Visit.
Be busy.

And now, this week, I've been spending a great deal of my time doing nothing. I can only sit up and stand for so long -- then I'm forced back onto my back unable to really move due to fairly unrelenting pain.

Last week was supposed to be my week of rest. Of doing nothing.

This was supposed to be my week of getting back on track. Deep cleaning. Planning. Being busy. You know, life.

I'm struggling with it. I suppose a great deal of it is due to the pain. Which, this morning, is not a whole lot better. The injection went surprisingly well -- they told me they rarely see people so calm on the table for their first time -- I know it was the prayers. And while I know that it takes a couple days for the pain to subside, I am noticing that the pain is starting to focus on my shoulder. While that's what they wanted to find out, it also scares me.

I might be forced into sitting still even longer.

I know there's a lesson in here and in this time. While I was on the plane, flying somewhere over Kentucky, while staring at the massive storm clouds displaying their lightening outside, I began to realize that in that moment my control in the scenario of life was out of my hands. I was in the plane. I had to depend on others -- the pilot and ground control  -- to make the call on what was safe and doable. Every bone in my being wanted to just land that plane, and yet, I knew I didn't have that power. So instead, I resorted to praying and resting and seeking the beauty in that electrical display outside my window.

There's no massive storm out my window now, but I am being put in a place where I'm forced to wait to do the things that I wanted to do and the things I deemed so important. And redirect my focus. Finding joy in new things. In rest.

Sigh.

I know there's a lesson here. Good things. It's just a challenge to someone who spends her life thriving on being busy and keeping themselves "productive" -- all that stuff that I use to hide worry, and anxiety, and fears -- now that I don't have the physical means to be so busy those raw emotions are right on the table.

God knows. In Jeremiah 29:11 He assures us that He knows the plans He has for me. So I'll rest in that truth, that knowledge, and while resting learn to seek the joy in spending time in rest. In being open and vulnerable about my feelings. About being forced to seek Him first -- not the never ending list of to-do's -- and in that seeking rest in Him. In being okay with asking for help.

It's already taught me to be grateful even more. And has shown me how blessed I am with friends -- that I've met and in many of you -- who take time to help, to pray, and to offer an encouraging word.

I am so blessed.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. {Jeremiah 29:11}

did i really do that?

I'm sitting here this Monday in my living room wondering if I really did that trip to South Carolina last week. I knew it when I returned that it would seem like a dream, but I didn't realize it would happen so quickly. As I type my sweet Samuel is resting in my arms, and sigh, that part of being home feels so great.

Starfish. For most of my week in Hilton Head I was like that creature -- embedded in the sand at the edge of the ocean. I just sat there and rested and thought about life and let my heart heal. There aren't adequate words that describe the feelings of and thoughts and joy of that week, but over the next week or so I'm going to try to capture just a bit of it in my writing. I want to remember.

no pics for the first set -- just my words as I describe my late night adventure home.

Flying next to a storm. That's what we did. As soon as our plane left Atlanta my dear friend Julie told me to look out the window. When I did I noticed an amazing thunderstorm. I vacillated between wanting to watch that glory at 30000 feet and not letting the fear of flying and flying by that storm take over. It was an unbelievable experience.

Turbulence and Chicago. That was the next step. I heard the pilot, as the plane was bumping around and the lightening flashed outside, announce that we'd be maneuvering through a couple of storm cells directly ahead. Now those clouds weren't looking so beautiful. About five minutes later, I heard our pilot announce that we'd be landing in Chicago and that the flight crew needed to prepare for landing.

We landed fast. (that needed it's own point -- and for those of you who fly you know what that was like.)

Tarmac. We sat there for a little over an hour -- we didn't know if we'd be sleeping in the airport (as all the hotels were full) or leaving. As the ground crew added more fuel (because we'd have to fly way around the storms) I watched an impressive lightening display outside of my window. I never knew what airport in Chicago we landed at -- but I did manage to sing a couple of lines from the song Chicago -- much to my friends dismay -- hee hee hee, how could I not sing that as I'm sitting in Chicago?  Finally, the pilot was cleared to take off for Minneapolis. As he lifted off I prayed and closed my eyes. That flight? The smoothest of all of them. The turbulence simply felt like the plane was rocking back and forth.  And then I was home. At 1:15 in the morning. I did it. I really did.

That last morning. I went for a walk and was greeted with the most amazing sunrise. As my feet wandered around the beach -- as I was looking for shells for my kiddos -- my heart was content and at rest. Throughout my week in Hilton Head I was being taught important lessons. Most ones that I couldn't have prepped for, and yet experienced. I'm looking forward to sharing how the Lord worked on my heart in South Carolina.

Unbelievable Low Country food. (just look at the picture -- again no words needed --man, the food was awesome in South Carolina.)

And an even more unbelievable meet-up. In Charleston. At the beautiful Poogan's Porch on Queen Street. With a now even sweeter and dearer and truly life-long friend. I can't wait to share more with you moreabout it -- and how the meet-up was truly a gift from the Lord -- and how it simply could not be a coincidence.  It's a touching and unbelievable story, my friends. Beautiful. Makes me tear up even remembering it.

The pig. And of course I need to end with an obligatory picture of the store (or a semi truck from the store) where we shopped in the South. No CUB Foods or Super Targets or Marketplace Foods. Nope. It was the Piggly Wiggly.  Love it. And now I have a 99cent Piggly Wiggly bag that I'll be using when we go to the library. Memories. And wondering how it ever got the name Piggly Wiggly. :)

I'm hoping to get back into my regular blogging schedule. Adjusting into normal life is a bit more challenging than I thought it would be -- I'm so grateful to be home -- and yet, I don't know what to do first -- and surprisingly I'm so tired (must have been that super long flying experience) -- and I'm still processing the trip. Thanks for sticking with me last week and my infrequent posts, and prayer requests, and chatting about the beach. You guys are the best.

Rachel

rest. sweet, glorious rest.

After a day of getting up at 2:40 am and flying and plane transfers in Atlanta and driving from Charleston down to Hilton Head Island and then finally checking in --

I've arrived.

I've swam in the ocean, and then just sat at the edge of the ocean and just let the water rush over again and again while basking in the sun and chatting with my dear friends.

I can't remember sitting still and being quiet like this in a long time.

It is sweet rest.

Even though I miss my family so so so so much.

And it's shows me just how important they are to me.

So now, this very tired momma of seven is going to rest.  And catch up on some sleep....

and she's going on a plane.....

.....at 6:30am Sunday.

Who?

That would be me. Tomorrow morning. Heading on a plane with some sweet friends.

Going to Hilton Head, South Carolina.

It's a blessing.

My ticket? Paid for via frequent flyer miles earned eleven years ago when I went to Alaska and from my trips to San Diego when we moved there. My place to stay? Free. Thanks to my dear friend Amy's inlaws. It's kind of a once-in-a-lifetime trip.

But, I'm nervous. About flying {yes, I'm the gal with the white knuckles gripping her seat}, and leaving the kids {haven't left them in eleven years -- when I went to Alaska -- which, by the way, is breathtakingly beautiful}, and well, just leaving. But, I also know that this is a beautiful opportunity to rest. The last six months have been quite hard -- from dealing with Samuel's Celiac Disease diagnosis to my hubby's business to the ongoing vehicle sagas to financial strain to just daily life -- and I've been feeling very mentally and physically exhausted.

I am grateful for this trip.

Even though I'm nervous.

{a google map if we drove}

So tomorrow morning -- think of me -- as this momma of seven goes through the security gates {please don't go off} and takes a plane from Minneapolis to Atlanta and Atlanta to Charleston, and says a teary good-bye to her wonderful kids -- and I'll be grateful.

Next update? From the beach.

{vehicle update -- thankfully it was just the battery that needed replacing in our little Saturn. One vehicle fixed, one big one to go. In time. Thanks for the kind words and encouragement for me as I stared at two non-working vehicles in our driveway. I'm grateful.}